More than support

dshobbies · #1 (**permalink**) 06-02-2011, 07:40 PM

I was talking to my husband last night and realized that this forum and others like it offer more than support and recommendations. They offer a glimpse into someone elses suffering.

My L2/3 has become painful enough for me to go back into physical therapy, which I started again on Tuesday. During my woe is me and feeling sorry for myself rant, I relayed some stories of others whose backs are much worse, (my age prohibits remembering too many names) who have had failed surgeries or lack of funds for surgery, those who can no longer be helped by surgery or whose diagnosis remains a mystery and those who have had possible negligent side effects at their surgeon's hands. There are also those who have fallen into such despair and hopelessness, they chose another way out.

Those who have realized their miracle no longer post of these forums because they have their life back and simply don't have the time. Those who have given up also no longer post because- what's the use?

So, though some of us will always lead a life of pain, we know we have company and are not alone. At the fingers of those who share their stories, we learn to be grateful for our small victories.

So thank you for sharing your stories and your life. In reaching out for help, you are also giving it. In sharing your victories, you give us hope. In sharing your failures, you give us insight and wisdom. In sharing your travels, the long roads and tunnels, you give us a map.

Today's a better day - Dale

mmglobal · #2 (**permalink**) 06-03-2011, 04:31 AM

Dale, the support that is offered to and taken from the internet patient forums never ceases to amaze me. Through the years I think we've had a great mix of the amazing successes, mixed successes, moderate failures and some of the worst of the worst. I too am having a hard time lately with my t-spine and I find that I don't like to post when I don't have good news. It has become harder and harder to keep up posting as I've grown more and more limited.

I echo your thanks to the patient communimty. What happens in public here is wonderful, but there are so many generosities that go on behind the scenes are equally amazing.

Unfortunately, my spine has written the worst chapters of my life, but the love and support from the patient community is truly the silver lining in the dark cloud of spine.

THANKS EVERYONE!!!!

Love,

Mark

jsewell · #3 (**permalink**) 06-03-2011, 03:07 PM

Dale i have just been noticing how just perfect your posts are and also i feel the same way.
I had been on a hip/knee replacement forum for a few years when i needed a hip replacement and stayed on way after to help others as i had been helped so very much. My hip was replaced 3 years ago and my friends from that posting have now moved over to facebook and helped me emotionally through all my spine surgeries. They even just had a meeting in N.Y. and a girl from
Australia went as well.
So i am so pro forum, they are wonderful. Now i just need to meet all of you LA area people who have been so kind. I could make it to this meeting in my own home area. I am more than ready to see some faces.
love you all,
judy

Maria · #4 (**permalink**) 06-04-2011, 02:13 PM

Forums such as this are a great place for understanding and support as well as education/guidance/assistance.

Unlike Mark I would be more likely to post if I weren't doing well because I like the support and understanding I get from the patient community however I find myself posting fairly regularly and it's not because I have pain really rather just to continue to share my own experience, point of view, opinion.

Like someone who has a chronic condition such as diabetes or Lupus I find myself identifying with people that have back issues. I feel fairly well "controlled" re pain so I'm in a much better place mentally and physically than I was for many a year yet I'm not so far removed from my spinal issues that I can completely live a life free of back pain/limitations.

I'm sort of in between the really good and the really bad. I think of myself as really Ok for now. Just like to be able to share that perspective as well since it's a pretty good place to be.

When in great pain and especially in the beginnning stages of the spinal journey the wealth of information that is available on forums as well as the empathy and support is a most incredible gift. I'm thankful for the the last 10 plus years of forums I have been able to access that helped me to get to a better place re my spine.

Dale, hope you get some relief soon from your upper Lumbar prob.
Mark, sorry to hear the t spine stuff isn't going away. I was hoping it had and still am hoping it will however that might be accomplished.

And of course I hope that for everyone that is dealing with pain~

dshobbies · #5 (**permalink**) 06-04-2011, 05:51 PM

Thanks Judy for the compliment-

Maria, had two sessions this week and was doing a little better until last night. Number two son and wife had a date night. Baby is 9 months old and carrying her on my hip for however long, bending down to pick her up or put her down, getting on the floor to play and change diapers - Not to mention Thursday night's 4 year old brother's graduation from preschool with me as caregiver so Mom and Dad could take a thousand pictures -today I'm worse than last week. But I do love those kids.

I really want to offer babysitting services this summer while Mommy teaches summer school but I fear I might reach a point of no return. Their finances really could use the boost and I do want to help but -.

Mark, I'm going to give you a call.

Maria · #6 (**permalink**) 06-05-2011, 01:49 PM

Dale,
One of my friends babysits her granddaughter who is 16 months old twice weekly as her back can't take the lifting anymore than this. Her DIL is pregnant again and she's so happy about this and absolutely loves to take care of her gd but feels so badly about not being able to babysit everyday.

I watched her granddaughter for her one afternoon and thought "uh oh.." as I can lift her but it's not wise! As it turned out I was lifting Lola all the time because little Esther kept chasing Lo' around. I tried to seperate them and Esther would cry and tug my pants and get into a little tizzy which set Lola off barking at her!

To say the least my back was tired that afternoon with an ache I hadn't felt in quite some time! Babysitting toddlers takes strength and endurance and preferably a dog that doesn't bark at children!

dridobits · #7 (**permalink**) 08-18-2011, 02:14 AM

I dont know where I would be without the support. I met my best friend in a back support group. Although we dont live closeby, we talk on the phone at least two times a week, offering support, humor and love. She can totally underatand when Im having a rough day, get good or bad news. Our friendship transcends pain but the ability to know I am understood and have someone to talk to when Im scared is an amazing gift from the internet.