Revision surgery

[annapurna]

Blair,

It might comfort you to know that, in many countries in the world, what was done to you would be considered an offense worthy of jail time at least. Well, you probably already know that, being almost-a-lawyer. In any case, it was abuse and horribly wrong. I'd consider removing yourself from contact with someone who would do something like that.

Best luck and prayers,
Laura

[mmglobal]

My reaction was much like Laura's.... At first I thought he was a kid that didn't know better. Sounds like an adult who is or will be an abuser. This is not ordinary family friction... he needs some help.

Fortunately, our spines are very resiliant. I know someone who was attacked in Miami Intl. Airport 10 months after Charite. surgery. She was pushed to the ground... kicked several times VERY HARD in her lumbar spine... She was having a tough recovery anyway and this did set her back.

It was very confusing, because 4 years ago... nobody in Miami knew about ADR and from the paramedics, to the ER staff, to the doctors... everyone was afraid to do anything. They kept her tied to a backboard for 8 hours... not knowing what to do. Finally, her friend lied to the staff and told them that she was a doctor and she demanded that they take her off the backboard. A series of xrays... calls to her surgeon... some pain pills and on her way.

She went on to a 100% recovery and is now doing wonderfully. A funny side note... she said, "I have fewer language problems in Germany than I did in Miami! More people speak English at the AlphaKlinik than at the county hospitals in Florida."

Mark

[dshobbies]

Blair,

I've been following your story and regret all that you're dealing with. To live with the pain, disappointment, apprehension and outright fear, all of which are very real, is difficult enough without having an unsupportive family member to put up with. Physical violence is a whole other story. Aside from the obvious hostility, the fact that he kicked you in your back and then again while you were lying down is representative of something else.

The first thing that comes to mind is substance abuse. Barring that, I'm in complete favor of castration which would inhibit his natural testosteronal aggresive tendancies.

Another way to deal with him is legally as Laura suggested but sometimes it's difficult to press charges against family members. No... I think you should cut off the bastard's balls!

Also, if you're still able to, you might try kicking him back. A directed, well placed kick serves so many purposes, don't you think? (not that I believe in fighting violence with violence, but really, is a testicular kick violence?)

On a more serious note, no one EVER deserves this type of physical abuse and I agree, removing yourself from a bad situation, even if it means distancing yourself from your brother, is in your best interests at this time. Surrounding yourself with caring, supportive people will do much more for your mental state than your realize.

I wish you well, Dale

Mark, if you need to edit this post, I understand.

[ans]

What a bully. This makes me mad. I'd think of filing a police report and pressing charges.

You take care. - ans

[Blairsara]

Hi guys,
Thanks for all your responses. I really appreciate them. I'm still really upset, and probably will be for a very long time. I'm not going to do anything legal about it, but I am not going to talk to him for a very long time. I've forgiven him once when something like this happened a long time ago and I will not forgive again. In my book, when you do something like this more than once you deserve not to be forgiven.
Mark I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your friend. That's absolutely terrible. I'm glad to hear that she's ok. That's pretty scary!!

Dale - you are hysterical!! I was actually thinking about doing that today. But if I do who knows, he might take a bat across my back and that would be bad.

Anyways, Ive decided that I'm going to remove myself from a relationship with him. He has yet to call and apologize or even say anything. Whatever, he's always been a selfish person. It actually bewilders me that he is the older one by 4 years. Who wouldve known the way that he acts huh?

Again thanks for all your replies. It's a crappy situation to add on to a crappy situation. But as I always say - never give up.. maybe for this situation never give up that hell realize hes a complete child that needs help.

Talk to you all soon.

Blair

[Poncho]

Blair,

Okay, if you are about 25 he has to be about 29 or 30....My initial impression was some sort of rebellious teenager with issues (which is bad enough) - but this is someone definitely old enough to know better. He may be your "brother" but it appears that he has other problems that need addressed!!! Anger management, counseling, even medication - something is not right with him to do that to you.

I definitely agree to remove yourself from such a toxic, abusive person. This is NOT what you need now. Keep yourself surrounded by positive people. You need to keep your mind in a good place.....It is very important to do so.

[Eddie G]

I would get a restraining order because he could have paralyzed you and he's old enough to know this. I would also keep my pain meds out of his reach since he seems to have issues.

I fell almost 3 feet, directly on my back, and the x-rays were perfect afterwards. Some people play sports after ADR and really take a risk but it seems like these discs can take some serious abuse. I wouldn't push it though.
If you decide to take him on, I would use an aluminum bat. Aim for his butt if you want to beat his brains in.

[ans]

I'd aim elsewhere. I'd lighten up and charge him for attempted murder.

Take good care - ans