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iSpine Discuss L5-S1 Charite Revision Surgery 8 day post op in the Main forums forums; So today is 8 days from when I had my surgery. I pushed it a little too hard the day ...

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Old 05-19-2007, 02:34 AM
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Default L5-S1 Charite Revision Surgery 8 day post op

So today is 8 days from when I had my surgery. I pushed it a little too hard the day I gave my last update and definitely felt it the following day. So even though I feel good under the circumstances, I'm sticking to the 15-20 minute walks instead of what I was doing. That way I won't kick myself in the butt the next day.

I still feel really good. Each day I feel a little better and can do a little bit more. So I'm really happy about that. Yesterday I took a shower and it definitely wore me out, but I felt so much better afterwards.

I'm not sleeping all that much at once. I can only sleep for 3-4 hours at a time and then I wake up from pain. But I remember from my ADR that I wasnt sleeping all that much for the first month or so and well I've had insomnia problems since then so it's not that big of a deal.

The only one thing that I don't like is that it's very difficult for me to go to the bathroom. I havent "made" since I was in the hospital even though I'm taking colace twice a day every day. Is this common? I don't remember how it was after my ADR because for the most part I don't remember the first two months. I definitely wasnt as clear headed as I am during this recovery.

I go to see Dr. Regan and my PM next Wednesday, so that will probably be the next time I give an update. I just wanted to let you guys know how I'm doing and what's going on. Things are still great, minus the bathroom thing, but they moved around a lot of stuff so I'm thinking this is common.

Hope you guys have a great weekend!

Blair
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2001 College Ice hockey injury
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1/04 fall in Vegas
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Old 05-19-2007, 03:43 PM
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Default re post op

Hey Blair,
It's great to hear you're doing so well and also that you've paced yourself so as not to get butt kicked by yourself!

RE the bm thing~ you might want to try some OTC Sennakot S~ don't take your colace as this is a natural stool softener/laxative. I take 2 at night and Miralax in the a.m. since being on Methadone is like pouring cement down one's throat... it's the only way to go (pardon the pun)!

Just thinking that something like that would make it much easier for you to not have to bear down and risk creating disc pressure or anal fissures/hemmorrhoids.

The other thing that I've found useful which one can buy in the health food store is powered Magnesium supplement. Mix the recommended amount in cup of tea or glass of juice and it should produce results~ it does on me and again, that is saying quite a bit with my medication intake.

Have a good follow up visit and if you get to see that cute Dr.Apostle~ take a cell phone photo and upload it (or whatever) to the website!!! He's definately eye candy and so nice.. OK, never mind me.. !!!!!!!!

take care and be good! Maria
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Old 05-19-2007, 04:14 PM
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Blair... I'm so glad that your recovery is progressing nicely. I hope to hear that the GI problems are resolved soon... that is an important hurdle. You must get better so you can teach me how to defend a goal on skates... that is still on my list of things to do.

Maria, we must not be talking about the same Dr. Apostle... I've never looked at him and thought he was even remotely cute. I hope this is OK, but hey... this is on the internet.... I was looking for a picture of him and found it here. In my search, I discovered that he's married to Sharon Lawrence... she was one of my favorite characters on Hill Street Blues (Andy's wife.)

Dr. Apostle brings an interesting toolkit to Regan's practice and Cedars... he's a pain management specialist, but also a practicing psychiastrist. I believes that makes him a much more valuable resource to us chronic painers trying to sort out our pain and shattered lives as we deal with the nightmare of chronic pain.

Mark
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Old 05-19-2007, 05:16 PM
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Blairsara,

It is good to see you posting! I think the Miralax thing is a good idea - it doesn't make things go the other way - if you get what I mean.

This will take baby steps at a time. You should notice improvements over time. Good advice that was given to me after surgery was to not compare improvements on a daily basis - but compare improvements on a weekly basis. This helped a lot because after the first 2 weeks to a month out from surgery, my days were blending together and hard to tell if I was improving. But comparing one week to the next was dramatic.

I looked at the pics of Dr Apostle....Assuming that Maria would "rate" him a 9 or 10 on a scale of 1-10. I would give him a 7...
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Old 05-19-2007, 05:24 PM
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Sue, is that 7 with or without pain meds?
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2002 L4-S1 Charite' ADR - SUCCESS!
2009 C3-C4, C5-C6-C7, T1-T2 ProDisc-C Nova
Summer 2009, more bad thoracic discs!
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Old 05-19-2007, 07:01 PM
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Glad to see you're doing a little better. Take it slow. I think I might have did too much after surgery. Now I'm doing too little. Find your happy medium and listen to your body...
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Old 05-19-2007, 07:07 PM
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Blair,

I'm so relieved to hear that everyday is getting better. You've been through an ordeal in many ways and maybe now you can breathe a little easier.

Laxitives have been discussed many times through many surgeries. One thing I never saw mentioned is mineral oil. When nothing was working 'great' for me, and this is a common problem with these surgeries, I finally tried mineral oil, recommended by a proctologist. 2 tablespoons in the morning and again in the evening quite literally greases the pipes and things flow much more easily. Once I tried this, and it's not as bad as it sounds, no taste and a quick swallow doesn't feel like you're drinking oil, I would not go back to any other product. I do like the taste of prunes but you have to be a little careful with eating too many and warm prune juice sounds as horrible as it tastes.

Anyway, you can decrease this dosage as necessary to 1 tablespoon twice a day, then once a day, etc. An added benefit when not using it as a laxitive is that is takes off eye makeup quite easily, that is, once you're feeling more like you want to wear makeup.

As as for weighing in on the Dr. Apostle issue, everyone's taste is different. I give him a 6-7. Maybe in person ??????

Please take care and keep us posted.

All my best, Dale
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Old 05-20-2007, 09:24 AM
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Blair, good luck in getting relief. I'm glad otherwise you're feeling well.

+ +
Yrs. ago, Dr. Apostle told me that he was 1/5 MDs who were board-certified in something else *and* psychiatry. Interesting re: Sharon - Sipowitz' wife on "NYPD" Blue.
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Old 05-20-2007, 05:17 PM
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Default "Goggling" - ???

Hummmm - well, I would have to say that I was "sober" - unless you consider drinking coffee while viewing the pics "coffee goggling" - LOL. Perhaps, the pics don't do him justice.

Blairsara - Please keep posting on your progress. I hope you are feeling better.

TTYL,
Poncho
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:01 PM
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Default moving along?

Hey Blair,
Hope your tum is doing it's thing and there's some ease w/your business...

Re Dr.Apostle and in his defense~ that's not a flattering photo Mark and it was the way he looked at me when I was leaving the examing room that really made me think he was cute~ he looked right into my eyes and wished good luck or some such thing but it was so sincere (that I can't remember what he said, just the sincerity of the look)~

So yeah, he's a 10 on men who look like they really care about what they're doing professionally with shattered lives and I still think he was really very nice looking!!!

Ok, I'm on pain meds tho wasn't drunk!!!

Oh yeah, Edit to say mmglobal is a 10 too!!!! Diane, don't get mad!
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Old 05-21-2007, 06:37 PM
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Hey now, in everyone's defence... I've heard that it isn't if someone's perfect that counts, it's if you're perfect for each other. This applies to all relationships, including doctor/patient. If Dr. Apostle is perfect for you Maria, and it sounds like it is, then he's a 10. Mark, you're a 10 in so many lives and I have no further comment. Taste is taste and to each his own.

And in my book, aside from my own hunky husband, I go for the Tom Selleck look. He can make my bed any day of the week. I think it's the mustache!

Take care all, and Blair, I sincerely hope you continue to improve daily. Just remember, take is nice and slow.

Dale
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Old 05-21-2007, 07:40 PM
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Okay, I have to leave room for personality... If he is sincere, compassionate and treats his patients well - Especially, since he is dealing with those of use with "broken backs" and lives - I would have to give him a 10+(going by patient feedback). Looks, smarts, and good personality- can't get any better than that
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Old 05-21-2007, 11:10 PM
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Default Blair's recovery

Blair,
since this tread is about your recovery I'm wondering if in seeing Dr.Regan for your surgical treatment pre/surg/postop if it is also a standard procedure for this office to have the patient evaluated by Dr.Apostle pre op and post op?

When I saw Dr.Regan I thought that Dr.Apostle was the Resident taking a history for Dr.R and wasn't exactly thrilled at his presence at first. He may have introduced himself but I didn't catch exactly what his role was in terms of taking my history intially altho I think during this history somewhere he stated he was a PM.

It may have just been the office was so swamped that day that he took me intially to help Dr.Regan out altho he was shortly joined by Dr.Regan.

The dual specialities of surgery and psych eval seems to be a good approach to the first time office visit altho I'm sure it depends on the insurance coverage for the visit. As it was I was paying cash and this is one time I can honestly say I got more than money's worth in terms of an evaluation and how I was treated as a human being and a patient.

Re men/looks and the like~ I can surprise myself with whom I consider to be hunky for me~ tho it's usually in the eyes for me, and I do love foreign accents as well and trim/muscular bods!

Blair, are you getting better at a faster rate just reading this thread??? Hope you're doing well and that one of the laxative remedies is working for you! I feel awful when not *on schedule*~
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Old 05-22-2007, 07:01 AM
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If anything, I hope we are entertaining Time to refocus.

Poncho
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Old 05-22-2007, 10:31 PM
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Default latest update

Hi everyone.

Thanks for all of the posts! It has been very entertaining and has helped me get through each day.

Well, here is the newest update. The past weekend sucked. I had major problems with my bowels and actually thought I had to go back to the hospital. I was in the bathroom Friday night for 5 hours straight. My mom ended up calling the hospital to get the internist's number that saw me while I was in the hospital. We called, but that bastard didnt call back. This was around 5am. So we fell asleep and when we woke up at 7am we called my internist. Since he wasnt on call we talked to someone else who said that I had to get a sepasotory (spelling?) and if I couldnt go then than I had to go to the hospital. Well, I didnt really go but it was enough where I didnt feel like I wanted to go to the hospital. Saturday sucked, and it was only until Sunday where everything was back to normal.

Now I'm doing ok. I'm eating a very high fiber diet, more so than before, and I am walking farther in the same amount of time. I set a goal for walking distance last week and I met it yesterday. I'm still only walking 20 minutes at a time, not doing anything crazy. And I don't feel like I'm overdoing it. I also think that I won't have to use the walker by the end of this week. The leg pain that I had is gone. But I still have really bad pain at the incision site on my stomach and my back hurts like hell. Oh ya and the laxatives dont do anything.

Now, to the most important part of this discussion... Dr. Apostle! He's adorable! those pictures definitely don't do him any justice!! Actually they are terrible pictures.

Maria, I dont know if it's common to have Dr. Apostle meet with every patient. I went to him because of my sleep issues. But I do know that when it gets really crowded that he'll come in and talk to the patients before Dr. Regan does. I know that he is great with medication - in terms of his knowledge and trying to find the best fit.

Anyways, I just wanted to say hi and give you guys an update. Hope everyone is doing well. And thanks for posting comments, and please continue to do so because it really does help me get through the day! So thanks you guys

Blair
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2001 College Ice hockey injury
2002 DDD
2002-2004 epiderals
Spondylolisthesis
1/04 fall in Vegas
1/04-5/04 epiderals
6/24/04 Charite L5/S1
10/04-present new pain from facet joints caused by Charite; 10 facet blocks
12/06 rhizotomy left side
3/07 rhizotomy right side
5/10/2007 Charite removed, anterior IF, posterior instrumentation
180 mg MS-contin; Oxycodone; 16 mg Zanaflex
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Old 05-22-2007, 11:29 PM
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Hi Blair:
Glad you are doing so much better; it sounds like the difficulties you're experiencing are part of the recovery process. My GI doc recommended citrucel which is a megadose of fiber (one of the pleasures of aging is "irregularity" associated with travel ).

I have to say I read this thread backwards last night (most recent first) and thought the pain meds were having strange effects on some of the posters--Dr. Apostle! what a name for a shrink! I didn't get to meet him when I saw Dr. Regan but I'd guess if you're going to proceed to surgery, he does get involved (which means I will meet him).

Hope everyday brings more progress for you, Blair!
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Old 05-23-2007, 12:04 AM
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Default re the *bowel function*

Ok Blair,
This is going to be a bit graphic but here goes..

On Methadone the gut seems to want to stop working. In order to get it work, I take the laxatives as I mentioned, which would be 17gm. of Miralax a day in cup of coffee and 2 Senakot-S in the nighttime.

I'd like to have normal bowel function the a.m. and sometimes I do but sometimes I'm just really *tied up*. When getting badly so after a two days of no you know what.. OMG.. I mean, my stomach is really a mess~

So I can see how you'd spend 5 hours in the bathroom (easily, unfortunately) and almost end up in the ER for relief.

Enemas can be a helpful thing.. the ones you buy at the store. I recommend having a few on hand just because to empty the lower part of the colon is easy and really doesn't require much work at all. It's when you want to give a high enema you should either know how or head over to the hospital for help with this..

This is not a pretty topic but I must say in nursing I gave my fair share of enemas and one thing I can manage is giving the lower colon one to myself if necessary (and probably rigging higher colon one as well) .. it's nasty work but someone's got to do it!

There are serious issues such as an ileus which of course would not be addressed with a simple enema but what I try to do is not let myself go without 3 days of having a bowel movement (after this my stomach is in fits anyway), and make sure you have active bowel sounds (all the gurgling and so forth)

Continuing god luck with this issue and of course, recovery which is ever prominent!!! Hopefully you don't mind as women (middle aged for me) the attention span has shifted a bit for *good looking treating doctor recall*!!!!!!

take good care!!!!

Last edited by Maria; 05-23-2007 at 12:07 AM.
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Old 05-23-2007, 02:19 AM
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Blair,

I'm glad that you're walking better and will hopefully get rid of the walker soon. Once I no longer needed it, I kept it in front of the toilet to hang my head on during those marathon 'sessions'. Sometimes I was just so tired. All I can tell you is that it does get better, it just takes a lot of time. And though I don't think I tried an enema, I did use Ducolax suppositories as needed. I personally found this part of the healing process to be the most diffiuclt. You can deal with incision pain with meds, as you can with other pains, but those damn bowels wouldn't cooperate for some time. Take everyone's suggestions and try them all.

So hang in there... it will get better.

And on that other topic, hey guys, where do your tastes lie? Whose your #10? Read my new joke!

Dale
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Old 05-23-2007, 08:06 AM
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Talking like a pretzel

Blair..
RE the enema ~ even administering a fleets might be difficult by self in terms of revision surgery and positioning ~ had temporarily forgotten this. Agree about the suppositories as a first line measure in terms of lower colon removal of fecal material altho they are similar w/self placement.. watch yourself should you be in the position (no pun) of utilizing either.

Tom Selleck's mustache..
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Old 05-27-2007, 03:21 AM
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Default Hope you're still improving

Blair,
This is my first time on the forum since the end of April when I had a total knee replacement. I have been on 60 mg MS-contin for 3 months now and I know what you've been going through, gut-wise. I was taking 4 senokot-s - 2 in the am and 2 in the pm, which was a bot too much. It's damn difficult to figure out the right dosage as it's affected so much by the rest of your diet. I'm trying 2 or 3 a day right now, and I'm also finding it a challenge because of the 2-hour window you need forthe senokot before or after other meds. Sounds like you are doing well, I hope things continue to improve. By the way, I hope you did well on your finals!
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:48 PM
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Default just wondering

Hey Blair,
how you're doing and hoping it's well~
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Old 05-31-2007, 08:20 AM
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Default 3 week update

Hi everyone I hope you guys are doing well. I thought I'd give my weekly update

Good stuff first:
I've been doing really well still! i can now go in a car. I'm now walking for 25 minutes at a time instead of 20. I have been out to lunch 3 times (but I can only sit for a really fast lunch - has to be under 30 minutes). I've gone shopping twice!!! I now have clothes that fit me since i lost a lot of weight and have cute shirts that fit over my brace! NO MORE WALKER!!!!!!!! I now have a four pronged cane as of last week. They wanted me to go to a one pronged cane but i want to take it slow with the big changes.

My stomach problems are better. My pain management doctor gave me some kind of prescription that's in powder form and you put in a drink. It's helped a lot and I feel so much better.

My friend's husband had back surgery about three months ago and she recommended getting the "Zero Gravity" chair from Sharper Image. This, besides the pain pump, is the best invention known to mankind!! I can sit in it for hours and hours and am fine. It's not too expensive only 150ish and so worth it. Relax the Back Store also has it - I found that the one from this store was more comfortable and had more padding than the one from Sharper Image.

So besides the next few things I am doing really well. I am still really positive and am actually really happy. I know the pain is going to suck, but I went through such terrible pain for so many months that I'm kind of used to it. I also found out one of my grades and I kicked major butt!!!! I was hoping for a C- and I got a B+!!! Now I just have to wait to see how i did on the final that was the day before my surgery.

So now to the not so great news:

My legs have been twitching for about a week or two. Sometimes it gets so bad where my entire body moves. Does anyone know why my legs are doing this? Also, I have more pain on my right side than my left as of a few days ago. I have the tingling sensation across my lower back and across my stomach but i expect that to be normal considering they opened me up in the front and drilled 6 holes in my back... so its normal right?

I'm still not sleeping as much as I'd like but it's better than what it was.
And I can't put as much pressure on my right side when I'm lying down than I can on my left. I'm trying to keep my back stick straight but it's really hard. I'm not bending or twisting or anything cause I'd probably hit myself before having someone else do it. :P

Hope everyone is doing well!

Blair
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2002 DDD
2002-2004 epiderals
Spondylolisthesis
1/04 fall in Vegas
1/04-5/04 epiderals
6/24/04 Charite L5/S1
10/04-present new pain from facet joints caused by Charite; 10 facet blocks
12/06 rhizotomy left side
3/07 rhizotomy right side
5/10/2007 Charite removed, anterior IF, posterior instrumentation
180 mg MS-contin; Oxycodone; 16 mg Zanaflex
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Old 05-31-2007, 02:33 PM
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Default re redovery

Blair,
Sounds like your recovery is progressing very very well! I'm amazed that you can do as much as you are now so it does sound like the surgery was successful!

I don't know much about the symptoms you're feeling except I know after my 2nd spine surgery which was just a percutaneous discectomy at L4 (L5S1 had been an open discectomy) I had some very weird sensations in my lower body/extremities such as numbness/tingling for a few months.

The leg twitching may fall under RLS or restless leg syndrome and I would venture to guess that will be transient as well as nerves are reacting to surgical intervention and now recovery. I had this when sleeping and it used to literally move me on the bed and I felt like I could feel my low back spasms thru the bed (kinda like the Exorcist w/o head swiveling)!! That lasted at least a month, maybe longer as I remember it freaked me out but the Neuro had said it was normal (oh yeah..real normal)~

On weight loss, WOW!! Often one hears of weight gain after surgery but it's really great hearing about weight loss (if necessary). I know what you mean re cute shirts/clothes as I went from 125lb to 104 lbs over 6 months and I fit into size 2's and 3's now vs. 6's and 8's.

However, in my case, age being against me.. I need to head to the gym to tighten up. Am hoping to do this before surgery! What I had forgotten about was a brace in the summer... shouldacouldawoulda had surgery in May?!

Anyway, continue on with your stellar recovery and congrats on kicking butt with your final grades!!!! Whooohoooo!!! (we all knew you're a brain)

Last edited by Maria; 05-31-2007 at 02:35 PM.
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Old 05-31-2007, 09:34 PM
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Blair,

It sounds like you're doing very well. Also, strange things happen to nerves when you're talking about back surgery so I would think that your twitching, etc. will work itself out as well as your pain. If it persists without improvement, this is something you need to take up with your doctor.

As for the zero gravity chair, I completely agree. I purchased one that's electric and even now, after 19 months post op, and I thought I would sell it, it's the place I go when I've done too much. I don't like the leather though... too cold. I would also recommend the tush cush, which is a seat cushion with the tailbone section cut out. Relax the Back has them and it allows me to sit comfortably for longer than without. I keep one in my car and at my desk, I even take one if I go to the movies.

Keep up the good work and all my best, Dale
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Old 06-21-2007, 07:45 AM
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Default 5 weeks post-op

Hey everyone

So I'm a month and 10 days out of surgery and I'm doing well. My pain has been worse this past few weeks because in the increase of my activity. So these past few days I've decided to lay low and just go for my walks (my cousin is getting married over the weekend so I have to be somewhat ok so I can last for more than 30 minutes). My legs are hurting a lot, especially both hips. The twitching thing is still going on, but has decreased a tiny bit. One day my right side hurts then its fine the next day but then the left side hurts.

This week has been really tough. I've been trying hard to remain positive, but things with my brother went to crap - he didnt do anything physical like last time but it did constitute as verbal abuse. I have tried to make it so I'm not around him by myself before this had happened. And although I'm not surprised that it did, I didnt think he was that much of an idiot to treat me the way that he did. Anyways, I thought that during my recovery things were going to be fine, and it wasnt going to be until after where I had to deal with all of his crap. Well I was wrong.

Anyways, I could tell immediately how my frustration, anger and hatred towards him affected my pain level. So I have decided, both for the sake of my recovery and for my safety, that I will not be near him by myself, wont talk to him by myself, will only deal with him when other people are around - basically the same plan that I was going to do once my spine fused. The thing that is the scariest is that he is bipolar and is not on medication... and I am always the one who is attacked, whether verbal or physical, when he has one of his "tantrums" and although he hasnt come near me since the surgery I don't know what may happen and that scares the living crap out of me.

The one thing that I didnt want was for my recovery to be about him, because everything always has to be about him, and now it has turned into that. And that in itself makes me frustrated and pissed off. Sorry for my rant.. but this has been going on for the past week and it makes me so mad that my pain level has shot up because of him when I am trying so hard to be positive. I had to delete him from my AIM contacts list because every time I saw his name I became filled with anger, which obviously is not good for the fragile state that I am in. I was thinking of writing a letter that I will give him after my spine fuses, but I don't know if I should even bother with that now or deal with it later..

I go to the doctor next week and will give my new update. I have now switched to a regular cane from the 4 pronged cane and am very happy! That thing was so friggen heavy. I'm starting to get bored out of my mind. Any ideas? I'm reading 3 books at a time, catching up on tivo, watching movies, seeing friends.. but still bored.. Any suggestions?

I hope everyone is doing really well.

Blair
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2001 College Ice hockey injury
2002 DDD
2002-2004 epiderals
Spondylolisthesis
1/04 fall in Vegas
1/04-5/04 epiderals
6/24/04 Charite L5/S1
10/04-present new pain from facet joints caused by Charite; 10 facet blocks
12/06 rhizotomy left side
3/07 rhizotomy right side
5/10/2007 Charite removed, anterior IF, posterior instrumentation
180 mg MS-contin; Oxycodone; 16 mg Zanaflex
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 06-21-2007, 02:33 PM
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Blair - it's wonderful that you're making some progress. Slow is okay - you've got plenty of time.

I'm so sorry about the situation with your brother. You're right that the anger, completely justified as it is, will compromise you physical and mental state right now. If you have a spiritual or religious advisor of any kind that you feel comfortable speaking with, it might not hurt to get help. The mind-spirit-body link is very poorly understood, but widely acknowledged to be real. Perhaps you could take advantage of your sugical "downtime" to get some emotional healing for your very difficult family situation. By the way, in suggesting this, I in NO WAY mean to imply that any of this is your fault in any way.

Thanks for keeping us posted on your progress.

Best!
Laura
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Old 06-21-2007, 05:03 PM
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Blair,

You are experiencing a whirlwind of both physical and emotional states. The physical you can do little about but the emotional is definitely in your control. Your brother is bipolar and you are his target. You know this and your family knows this. You don't need or want his emotional state to affect yours which in turn affects your pain and healing levels.

Sometimes, however difficult, it is in our best interests to remove ourselves from a volitile situation. Making the decision to curtail or cease contact with a loved family member is never easy but with age comes wisdom. You say that you didn't want your recovery to be about your brother but that is what is has become. BUT this is within your own control. YOU are making the decision to remain in contact with him. YOU are making the decision to allow him to affect your control. If he hurts you emotionally, YOU have the power to stop it. If he hurts you physically, it may be something you regret for the rest of your life.

Your brother will always be your brother. This is already written, period. Whether you stay in contact with him will never change that. The love you have for your brother will always remain intact. He is your brother, pure an simple. You don't have to like him. It's OK to hate him. If his behavior is affecting your life, you have the obligation to yourself to do whatever you can to correct the situation. Correcting him is not your job. I realize that you want to help and 'fix' him but you can't. Perhaps, at least for awhile, it's time to stop trying and let him go.

Blair, he scares me. He's capable of really hurting you. Only YOU can prevent that.

I hope your pain subsides soon and your recovery goes smoothly. I also hope your brother doesn't put another foot into your back. I'd hate to read about this in the newspaper!

End of sermon. Please keep us posted, Dale
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Old 06-21-2007, 06:37 PM
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Blair: I don't mean to sound abrupt but I think that it's not reasonable to expect your brother to change as there is no guarantee that he will not maliciously (ok, maybe this is in the "up" phase of bipolar) injure you and ruin your life. I hope that you can get the hell out ASAP, get your bearings as you *fuse*. I'd sleep on friends' floors/sofas if it would not injure me if in your shoes.

Unsolicited advice: if your brother's over 18 years old and is unmedicated, how about your parents considering moving him to a group psychiatric home where he'll learn responsiblity towards others and adult skills.

Wishing you well. - Allan

Last edited by ans; 06-21-2007 at 07:09 PM.
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Old 06-22-2007, 12:28 PM
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Hey everyone
Thanks so much for all of your replies.
To set one thing straight, my brother doesnt live with me. I'm living with my parents and he is in an apartment with his girlfriend. But that doesnt mean he isnt here. He comes over all the time. This week he came over twice, ended up while my mom was out, so I had to pretend I was sleeping while he was here in order to avoid any contact. If he did live here while this was going on I dont even know what I would do. Thank G-D that is not the case!

I'm doing everything that I can to not be around him. But it's inevitable that I will have to deal with him. And for those situations I plan to stay close to other people and far away from his as possibly necessary without causing extra drama. My parents see everything that's going on and completely back me up 100%. My mom realizes how bad it is more than my dad - he just thinks its my brother being the typical *******.. And truly believes that he wouldnt physically hurt me while I'm in this condition. I completely disagree with him If he could kick me in the back one month before major back surgery, what would prevent him from doing anything to me now if he loses complete self control. That is precisely the reason why I will not talk to him alone, be with him alone, etc.. and only be around him when necessary around other people. The plan is for me to recover and completely fuse and than have a family intervention where he either recognizes that he has major issues, goes to therapy where it is actually helpful, is on some sort of medication other than self medicating by smoking, and realizes how terribly he treats me... if not (which I doubt he will ever admit he has a problem or even address all of his issues that are based on completely unrealistic perceptions) than our relationship will remain the same - no contact except for when absolutely necessary and can't be avoided. His best friend also supports me and wants him to get the help that he has needed for such a long time.

I will do everything that I believe is absolutely necessary to make sure I completely recover and that I have a successful surgery. And I have no problems with completely distancing myself from him so that way I can get back to being positive. Although, I've been having trouble thinking of ways to maintain my positive outlook when he comes around and I have to pretend to sleep or be close to my dad and deal with the tension and negativity. Any ideas?
__________________
2001 College Ice hockey injury
2002 DDD
2002-2004 epiderals
Spondylolisthesis
1/04 fall in Vegas
1/04-5/04 epiderals
6/24/04 Charite L5/S1
10/04-present new pain from facet joints caused by Charite; 10 facet blocks
12/06 rhizotomy left side
3/07 rhizotomy right side
5/10/2007 Charite removed, anterior IF, posterior instrumentation
180 mg MS-contin; Oxycodone; 16 mg Zanaflex
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 06-22-2007, 07:21 PM
ans ans is offline
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Blair: If you do see him, would it help if you put your fusion support "belt" around you (are you still wearing it) to provide him a cue that you're injured?

Good luck in this, ans
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Old 06-23-2007, 02:47 AM
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Allan
I have to wear my brace all the time except for when I'm in bed and he knows this. It's huge - goes all the way up to my shoulder blades. But thanks for the idea. It's a really f'ed up situation but I'm trying to do what I think is best. And knowing that I have support from my parents, friends, his best friend, and a forum of people reassures me that I am taking the proper precautions.

I just want to get back to not even thinking about him and all of this drama. That is the hard part, especially since I am bored out of my mind and I keep analyzing everything.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Blair
__________________
2001 College Ice hockey injury
2002 DDD
2002-2004 epiderals
Spondylolisthesis
1/04 fall in Vegas
1/04-5/04 epiderals
6/24/04 Charite L5/S1
10/04-present new pain from facet joints caused by Charite; 10 facet blocks
12/06 rhizotomy left side
3/07 rhizotomy right side
5/10/2007 Charite removed, anterior IF, posterior instrumentation
180 mg MS-contin; Oxycodone; 16 mg Zanaflex
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old 06-23-2007, 05:38 AM
ans ans is offline
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You could make friends with a bouncer to hang around the house.

Boredom? I'm a great believer that Netflix has some incredible stuff including some tv series' that were more art e.g. "Homicide: Life On The Street". Tell us your taste in movies and books and maybe we have some suggestions - if you can sit comfortably. I raced through James Ellroy's and Jean Ferdinand Celine's books like a maniac Enough... Like Dan's idea the best: buy your own gated mansion.

Take care of yourself, ans
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Old 06-25-2007, 02:36 AM
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Default 3 year anniversary Charite ADR surgery

So three years ago today I had my first back surgery. Now I am in a hospital bed recovering from the surgery removing the Charite disc. Kind of ironic... I go and see my dr next week.. I think I should see my pain psychologist as well.. I am filled with so much anger and hatred because of all the stuff going on with my brother and as much as I try to be positive these feelings keep finding their way back. I just want a stress free environment. I didn't realize that was too much to ask for!

It has been a long three years. Hopefully, this is the answer to all of my problems. I never thought that the situation that I am in now was where I would be when I had my original surgery. Ha.. I was naive! I am taking it day by day.. so far today has been a blah day but hopefully it will get better. I hope that sometime soon they will make an artificial disc that doesnt completely destroy the facet joints of younger patients. There has to be studies and more research on this subject. I would hate to see another person go through all of the crap that I have had to go through. The one thing I have always wanted is for my experience to be a learning experience for others.

I hope everyone had a great weekend.

Blair
__________________
2001 College Ice hockey injury
2002 DDD
2002-2004 epiderals
Spondylolisthesis
1/04 fall in Vegas
1/04-5/04 epiderals
6/24/04 Charite L5/S1
10/04-present new pain from facet joints caused by Charite; 10 facet blocks
12/06 rhizotomy left side
3/07 rhizotomy right side
5/10/2007 Charite removed, anterior IF, posterior instrumentation
180 mg MS-contin; Oxycodone; 16 mg Zanaflex
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  #34 (permalink)  
Old 06-25-2007, 04:25 AM
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Blair,

How right you are about a learning experience. Many of us decided to or not to have this or other surgeries based on what others posted.

About your anger - holding on to this emotion will definitely interfere with your entire healing process. Though hard to let go, I come with a suggestion. Have you ever meditated? If not, I'll send you a pm trying to explain the process. If yes, please meditate often, going to your happy place and peace will find you. You'll be calmer and more at ease, allowing the healing process to consume your body instead of your emotions.

Sending you good vibes, Dale
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Old 07-12-2007, 09:15 AM
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Talking Two Month Update!

Hi Guys,

It's about that time again for an update... the two month update! Things with me are going extremely well! I went to Dr. Regan last week and he said I am basicaly healed from the surgery itself and now it's just about the fusion. He said it will be about another 4 months. I am still on a high dose of morphine - about 200 mg per day - but in two weeks I'm going to start to ween off.

Dr. Regan cleared me for a lot of things: I can go to physial therapy, go in the pool, drive, stop using the cane, basically do anything that doesnt involve bending, lifting or twisitng. He said that once I start doing exercises on a day to day basis my legs won't twitch as much.

I havent felt like this for years, and although after my initial surgery I thought I got my life back I really didnt. It has been 6 years, friggen 6 years since my back problems started, and only now do I feel like I am really on the road to recovery.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you guys know how I'm doing and that everything with my back and recovery is going very well and I am very positive. Regarding my brother, it has been over a month since I have talked to him and I plan on taking the same course of action for the next 4-6 months.

I hope everyone had a great fourth of july! I can't believe it's been two months since my surgery!
__________________
2001 College Ice hockey injury
2002 DDD
2002-2004 epiderals
Spondylolisthesis
1/04 fall in Vegas
1/04-5/04 epiderals
6/24/04 Charite L5/S1
10/04-present new pain from facet joints caused by Charite; 10 facet blocks
12/06 rhizotomy left side
3/07 rhizotomy right side
5/10/2007 Charite removed, anterior IF, posterior instrumentation
180 mg MS-contin; Oxycodone; 16 mg Zanaflex
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  #36 (permalink)  
Old 07-12-2007, 09:44 AM
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Blair, great news! I'm so glad that you are on the mend... you are going to have to teach me to skate so I can try hockey GK.

I'm planning on a spiney party in late August.... hopefully you can make it.

Take care... talk to you soon,

Mark
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  #37 (permalink)  
Old 07-12-2007, 03:10 PM
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Smile great news!

Hey Blair,
So glad to hear you're doing so well! Re your bro, sounds like a plan of action or non (not talking to him)~ whatever works!!!!
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  #38 (permalink)  
Old 07-13-2007, 01:15 AM
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Blair,

All good news. Glad to hear you're doing well and hope you stay that course.
All me best, Dale
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