Out of Options and very depressed...

[Eastex]

Kathy,
Have you been to Texas spine and Joint in Tyler yet? I am having better luck there so far. I understand what you are going through right now, and it pisses you off when there is hope and then it is ripped away. My wife is currently given up on me as we speak. I just hopes she remembers that I am not the same person during this ordeal because of the pain, drugs, and emotional roller coaster. You are in my prayers, and I hope you find help. soon.

[Terry Allen Blackburn]

Originally Posted by Eastex

Kathy,
Have you been to Texas spine and Joint in Tyler yet? I am having better luck there so far. I understand what you are going through right now, and it pisses you off when there is hope and then it is ripped away. My wife is currently given up on me as we speak. I just hopes she remembers that I am not the same person during this ordeal because of the pain, drugs, and emotional roller coaster. You are in my prayers, and I hope you find help. soon.

It's hard for spouse's and loved ones to understand as they may not have been there themselves. There is also such a sense of impotence and powerlessness when you cannot help a person that you love. Suffering is something that gets in the way of a good relationship anyway. How can you be there for someone else when your entire life is consumed by mind numbing pain. There is nothing that can describe the feeling of just wanting to take your own life just to have some escape from how much agony you are in. I have definitely been there where I prayed to die as life had no hope, no joy, no future.

I hope you guys can work your way to the other side. Giving up is such a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Hang in there and we will be like your extended family for support for what you are going through.

Terry Newton

[Kathy]

Originally Posted by Eastex

Kathy,
Have you been to Texas spine and Joint in Tyler yet? I am having better luck there so far. I understand what you are going through right now, and it pisses you off when there is hope and then it is ripped away. My wife is currently given up on me as we speak. I just hopes she remembers that I am not the same person during this ordeal because of the pain, drugs, and emotional roller coaster. You are in my prayers, and I hope you find help. soon.

I haven't been to the Texas Spine and Joint in Tyler. I am hoping that this clinical trial in Florida works out. I am so sorry about you and your wife. This pain is hard on relationships, even the most loving person can't truly understand what we are going through. I know I'm not the most pleasant person to live with, almost feel like 'Debbie Downer' at times. Even as our spouses love us and have compassion, they are only human and I'm sure it gets old for them too. I doubt any of us are the same person we were before. It changes every aspect of your life to live like this. I've been so depressed at times, that I do just want to die, want to escape my reality. My husband has taken this as something he has done wrong, an insult to him, like he is so bad that I want to be gone. He can't understand that it is nothing to do with him or my children; but everything to do with the pain, I'm tired and sick of fighting. It feels like I just can't take another day at times. We have had our fair share of fights over it and everything else. It's hard being just married, then add this to it and it is a recipe for disaster. I wish I had some magic advice; but I don't, hang in there and know that I will be praying for you and hope that you and her can work this out and come out stronger because of it.
Best Wishes,
Kathy

[dshobbies]

All of life's trials are difficult. Personally, my husband was wonderful yet I could have found plenty to complain about. The key, as in most of life, is communication.

I've seen too many chronically ill people turn against those they love and know it's an easy course of action. I promised myself I would not do that. How you ask, by waiting until I was no longer angry and then I would talk to him. Sometimes he'd get defensive and I'd ask him to think about it for a later discussion. While discussing anything with all the anger gone, you both tend to keep an open mind. A little humor goes a long way too.

Just remember, if you must argue, always argue naked!

[trkdoc714]

Argue naked.......I came to this site for information and advice on back pain. Little did I realize I would find the key to happiness in some of these posts. I just wonder what my boss will do the next time we have a disagreement. There may be company rules I should look into.........

Thanks for the laugh!

Bob

[Maria]

So I guess this is the reason to argue naked after the age of 50

[Kathy]

Originally Posted by dshobbies

All of life's trials are difficult. Personally, my husband was wonderful yet I could have found plenty to complain about. The key, as in most of life, is communication.

I've seen too many chronically ill people turn against those they love and know it's an easy course of action. I promised myself I would not do that. How you ask, by waiting until I was no longer angry and then I would talk to him. Sometimes he'd get defensive and I'd ask him to think about it for a later discussion. While discussing anything with all the anger gone, you both tend to keep an open mind. A little humor goes a long way too.

Just remember, if you must argue, always argue naked!

Mom to dad "I don't know why you aren't listening to me"
Dad to mom "Wow, your breasts look great"
Mom to dad "you think so, you're looking pretty hot to"
Mom and dad 'make up'
Child coming to see what the ruckus is "Daddy, why is your privacy touching mom's privacy?"
mom "daddy and I were just 'wrestling' "
Yeah, that would pretty funny to explain, better start saving for psych visits for the kiddos