[dridobits]

Jess, so many hugs to you. I think it's normal for you to have a huge range of emotions. This is your future you are talking about...the next phase of your life. Of course your emotions are going to be many different things.

I have ativan and I take it when needed. It's a thought. For me, I don't need to suffer anymore than I have and the ativan takes the edge off. You might want to talk to your doc or someone about getting some to get you through this waiting period. Just a thought. It was offered to me when I had a very very stressful medical situation and since then the docs agree it's good for me to have on hand. There are other things like valium. I don't like to push more drugs but for me has made a huge difference.

Of course your scared and emotional. Your about to have a major surgery and we don't know the outcome. It's the not knowing that I think that can drive us crazy. However, when I was in that state of "not knowing" I realized it was an opportunity for me to work on my skills regarding such.

It's really important to remain positive. If you feel like your going into a negative space, it's important to share that with others. I think that just by talking about it and writing as you have that can diffuse the situation...let some air out of the bag.

I am wishing you the very best. When I'm stressed I do what relaxes me...maybe watching a good movie...something to take my mind off of it. I take a lot of hot baths and sometimes just the little differences of having clean sheets, clean clothes, clean house can really help take some anxiety away.

I will be thinking of you and am wishing you the very best.