How did/do you deal with the stress?
I feel like I'm falling apart...like there's a loose thread that's being pulled and all of my seams are slipping. I have an almost constant tremble; it's nothing visible, but I feel it. I know that I'm not the only one that feels this way...I'm two weeks away from departing for Germany, and now that the decision for surgery has been made, I don't know if I can go through with it. But I don't know if I can NOT go through with it. Sometimes I feel like I'm floating, and unable to reconnect. At times, I feel unable to make the smallest decisions. This is SO unlike me, and it's infuriating!!! There's a feeling of helplessness associated with all of this. I wish I could just close my eyes and fast forward to May 25th and I'm in the hospital and unable to back out. The waiting is the worst! UGH!
So NOW what?  I don't know weather to laugh or cry!?!?
(can you tell I'm in an empty, quite house...and the "crazies" are getting to me AGAIN) I'm gonna go take a nap! 
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36 year old mom of 7 in SC.
MRI 4/2008 shows bulging disc with annular tear @ 4/L5 and and complete herniation at L5/S1.
9/11/08 Laminectomy , successful to a point...relieved nerve pain, but after 4 months was still having severe disc pain.
Treatments tried: epidural shots, oral pain killers, NSAID's, TENS massage, chiropractic care, deep tissue massage. Oh, and plenty of our homemade wine! 
May 26 2009, 2 level ADR, L4-S1, Dr. Bertagnoli, Straubing, Germany
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