Dale,
Your post made me cry...they were tears of relief, for the understanding and the empathy and the clarity. I have gotten so much support from everyone here, I can't even begin to thank you all.
The ultra-crazies get me most when I'm sleep deprived, which is a lot lately. Mark asked me a few weeks ago how I was holding up, if I was becoming depressed. I told him, no, I didn't feel depressed, but that I did fight it back everyday. My children, while they do occasionally get on my nerves, are like 7 rays of sunshine that beam down on me, and they give me the strength to fight. How am I going to keep fighting when I'm in Europe, so far away from them for so long?
And so, last night, I increased my anxiety medication (Cymbalta) from 60 mg to 90 mg, which was what I was on before my last surgery. I don't know why I didn't think to do that sooner (thanks Cathy!!!!). I also occasionally take Sonata for sleep, and I can take 1 or 2 at bedtime, so I went ahead and took 2. I did wake up a couple of times, but I was able to go back to sleep, and managed to get about 6.5 hours. I'll try the same again tonight.
Thanks again for all the support! (Breath in~~Breath out~~Drink Wine!!!)
__________________
36 year old mom of 7 in SC.
MRI 4/2008 shows bulging disc with annular tear @ 4/L5 and and complete herniation at L5/S1.
9/11/08 Laminectomy , successful to a point...relieved nerve pain, but after 4 months was still having severe disc pain.
Treatments tried: epidural shots, oral pain killers, NSAID's, TENS massage, chiropractic care, deep tissue massage. Oh, and plenty of our homemade wine!
May 26 2009, 2 level ADR, L4-S1, Dr. Bertagnoli, Straubing, Germany