[treefrog]

Jess, just because your last surgery wasn't all that you were hoping for, does not mean the same thing will happen this time. Obviously the laminectomy did not address everything that was going on, and that's unfortunate. I have great faith that Dr. Bertagnoli will do the best surgery for you, and me, and that we will be feeling so much better in no time. He is the worlds best surgeon for ADR surgery, I trust him completely.

Since you have been able to keep working through this, you are more likely to have a better outcome (according to a research article I read), than someone who is no longer able to work before surgery. This, and the fact that Dr. B. has done thousands of these surgeries gives me hope. As I think they are the most important factors to a good outcome.

Have you talked to your doctor about your anxiety and stress? Maybe they can give you something to help with that.

I have been having some short bouts of anxiety, but so far they haven't lasted longer than a few hours. There are things that are beyond my control, and I will try to do whatever I can to make sure things get done in time. But if they don't, they don't and hopefully there will be a way to work around it.

I guess I am lazy at heart, because I am looking forward to not working for a couple of months. Although I am afraid I won't have the discipline to walk every day, or push myself to walk further each day. But I hope that I will, and that I will want to come back to work at some point.

The most frightening thing for me, is thinking about the post-op pain. I am so worried they won't have my pain controlled adequately, or that the meds they give me will make me nauseated, or both. And the next most frightening thing is the pain and discomfort I may have on such long flights, both going over and coming back. I don't like pain, and will do everything in my power not to hurt myself, so you can imagine how much I want this surgery to work.

Have you talked to your employer yet, about the likelihood that you will be out longer than you expected? Maybe they will surprise you with their understanding. At least I hope that talking with them, will ease your mind about it.