Hey, Kathy. Funny stuff...well, today is a hellish day of pain so I've been surfing the net all day and checking the forum here and there.
Anyway, this is a great resource (albeit mostly a no-brainer):
Sex and the Back: Taking the Pain Out of Sex.
It's not geared toward post-op, but it might help you. I love how this disclaimer is all over the page: "Please do not try this sexual position without consulting your physician."
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told my husband I am going to keep a calendar by the damn bed and make him sign in blood when he gets it, so when he goes on his poor me, I haven't got any in months rant, I can remind him that it was last night! What's up with that guys? Has that angle ever worked for you?
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Kathy, my explanation is that we are guys. We really are the "idiot" sex, especially when it comes to remembering things such as "getting it." It's in our DNA: men want sex and women want romance. The key is to recognize we both inherently have different needs and then make a point to meet those needs for one another.
By the way, this is a topic that is rarely talked about post-op and I'm glad that you got the discussion going on it. It will benefit many people.