[runner]

Terry,

Thanks for your reply. You are an inspiration to me, having such a major surgery(s) and being able to get back your life.

It is a tough recovery and I think the hard part is that some people think you should be all better three months out or four or five or whatever. The problem is I don't feel all better.

I certainly look majorly bloated.It starts below the middle of my rib cage and down past my belly button. I have a difficult time dealing with how I look, especially when I have been so athletic all my life. I wasn't what I call, "lean" right before I had surgery. Because the surgery kept being cancelled and I could not do much exercise at all after November-December because of the pain, my strong core muscles deteriorated.
I wasn't, however, looking like what I look like now.
Before the back pain began, now more than a year ago, I was getting in the best shape I had been in a long time. It was two years after having my fourth child. I was running well and exercising at least six days a week.
Then Bam, my life was turned upside down and things just kept getting worse.

I start thinking I shouldn't complain because that killer back pain is gone. But I can't wear my levis and it is downright depressing.

Throw in an insurance fight in the middle of all of this and things look bleaker.

I think my recovery is good, especially when I think about how awful I felt before ADR surgery. I am a worrier. Now I am fretting about reducing the pain meds. I am not sure I can cut the oxy dose by half. I have eliminated one dose during the day and now am taking it twice a day.

I keep telling myself to concentrate on the recovery and that is all I need to do. Unfortunately, I have a messy house. I have files and files of stuff on ADRs and I am a bit overwhelmed.

What do you do to keep your eyes on your recovery?