[dylan]

I am still am kind of functional. I can sit at my own workstation for 6-10 hours a day. I can work medium duty for one week just as long as I have a week off after. If at any time I start hurting I have to stop and rest as soon as possible for an undetermined time. This means I can not make solid plans and I cannot have a regular job, it has to be freelance. I cannot enjoy a full life by any means, I could not imagine having a family or a girlfriend, and most of my friendships are superficial. this makes my life lonley and boring. A part of me says that I don't have much to lose if the adr fails, and a part of me does.

the answers to the questions were
1. yes, I am bad enough,
2. I have reasonable expectation that I will not get worse with therapy, but that can go either way
3. my facets are close together with imbrication and encroachment. I have been told that people have similar x-rays with no symptoms.

either way I am going to take it easy this time around and continue therapy and see if it does get better. I have been considering adr for four years,and the kineflex trial is a great oppritunity, but I cannot let that cloud my judgement of risk vs. reward.

I agree about the depression, and I focus too much on the fact that I am a spiny, instead of just accepting it and adapting. It just hard because I have spent a good part of my life developing a network in production and entertainment, and it is not something that I wan't to have to walk away from. I am just starting to get the good jobs
But because the hours are long, and the only choices are office or on set (siting or standing) I may have to.

That is the real struggle, and the reason I am considering the adr gamble