A balloon with some air let out
What I find interesting is the effect of these falls into valleys on the reactions of others. In the initial days when I'd overreact to a minor twinge, want to call off a trip, etc., my spouse would be concerned. But, now I've developed a 'boy who cried wolf' reputation, so even my tempered reactions to big time pain are viewed with skepticism.
I too used to have much more fortitude. Much more of a fighter attitude. Now, I find I'm yielding more. Not quite giving up as much as giving in. Even my "never give up" inspirational talks with my kids sound a little deflated and unconvincing to me.
I worry how these little trips to the dark valleys will shape the personalities of my kids. I try to mask them. Sometimes, Oscar-winning performances. But, I know that they are smart enough to see beneath the veneer.
I find myself planning for worst case scenarios more. Talk about catastrophic thinking...
|