[Maria]

Dale,
I remember before I started pain meds and ESIs I was really homebound and in pain lying in bed crying nearly 24/7. Hub had to cart me around in the back of the SUV to go anywhere and I couldn't even shop for 10 mins w/o feeling like I *must* lie down due to pain.

Just this morning when I couldn't find my address book (yes I should have them on the computer but don't) I was thinking of how forgetful I am, how little I actually think anymore let alone read or remember anything I do read and I just wondered about the GREAT tradeoff of being relatively pain free much of the time, being able to walk several miles at a clip or hours, going out nearly all day long and not being in pain and so on so forth.

The trade off is my mind for my activity level at this point. Perhaps I do not push myself hard enough since I feel like a lady of leisure because when taking care of my father's affairs in Fla. I'm much more thoughtful.

Now my 18 y.o. step niece is w/me and I'm helping her with school enrollment (she has some special needs/dyslexia and so forth) and it tires me out but I'm so happy that I can actually get around and help her out, take her a few places as compared to being stuck in bed.

It'd be great if when having surgery fixing one problem wouldn't potentially lead to another. That and not having to take the degree of pain med that I do for relief. I have experienced the great relief of success w/first spine surgery and the great let down of a horribly failed 2nd spine surgery. This most definately has played a part in my decisions/expectations and willingness re trade offs.

Current trade off is pharmacological pain relief and a certain degree of functioning for lack of mental clarity. I've felt far worse off re pain yet far better off re cognitive functioning. AT this point I know what my body can reasonably do.

Surgery may always be an option for my spine (if bone density allows) however ADR may not always be surgery of choice for me with continued waiting. Another trade off re time so to speak..