Those of you who have been following Diane's story will remember that she did great after the July discectomy for about 2.5 months, then started having symptoms on the other side. By early November, we knew that the disc was too severely compromised, but it took her quite a while to come to grips with having more surgery. If she did nothing, she did not hurt very much. However, she learned that the threshold was quite low and a quite innocuous activity level generated substantial symptoms. It was hard to watch her progress as a spine patient. There is such a huge difference between someone who's new to this and someone who's suffered for years with chronic pain, but watching her discover what it's like has been quite difficult for me.
The role reversal we are doing is pretty amazing. As I went through this as a patient, I was discovering it all for the first time. Now that I've been through the surgical ordeal remotely with hundreds of clients and have been through it, up close and personal with about 50; I see things from a different perspective. Diane watched me through years of disability and everything that goes along with it, and she's watched what I do from afar... getting to know many of my clients very well. So now that she's learning first-hand what it's like to head down this road, we are both surprised by what we are discovering. I thought I understood caregiver issues better than I really do. She's learning things from the patient's perspective that give her a more thorough understanding as well.
As we approach this, I find it shocking that we consider her to be a 'newbie'. She's so far removed from the difficult cases and in such better shape than many of us who've had years of suffering with chronic pain. How horrible is it that being unable to work or function normally for almost a full year now, makes her a newbie? How horrible is it that a year of suffering and disability only qualifies her as 'not that bad'? It's an amazing perspective that we get when we live in the world of spine patients.
In November and December, Diane could not get used to the idea of coming for surgery. I had a trip to Pro-Spine with a client in late January and I thought she'd go then, but she was still having the typical doubts about surgery. When her pain would subside for a day or two, she'd think that she'd get away without surgery... then a simple walk on the beach would flare her up and she'd know that she'd be there sooner rather than later. With the severe collapse at L5-S1, it seems unlikely that she'll just be OK, and sooner, rather than later would seem to give her a better chance for a good outcome... before other elements of her spine degenerate further. (See other discussion about "auto adjacent segment disease.")
By late-January, she was ready to go. We ultimately decided on the late March date that was offered by Pro-Spine. We've both been to Munich, Straubing, and Bogen many times, so preparations were easy. Fast-forward to the night before we leave and there was such a poignant moment... Diane says it's OK to share. Tuesday night before we left, Diane asked Susan (our daughter) to take some pictures of her with Zoey (our grandaughter) so she'd have some pictures of them together to take on the trip. I knew that the pictures were for Zoey... not for Diane. It really brought home the depth of feelings that so many have at this stage.
More later... gotta run... surgery starting now... wish us luck!
Mark