[dshobbies]

Maria,

Your fence gets wider and longer by the minute. I've followed your story and read your posts. Some days you're satisfied with your life and others, you're not. For those of us on the other side of the fence whose lives improved, we made a good decision. For others, they have their regrets.

Here's your dilemna. Though your daily pain meds usually control your pain, allowing you to function 'normally', some days are worse than others. Those days are unpredictible and aside from an increase in your pain, plans must be altered.

Your fear of making the wrong decision... of having less than your anticipated outcome and of a difficult recovery only complicates the process. Also the possibility that as your condition worsens, you may no longer be a good candidate. Different doctors have varied opinions and before long you're hurdling the Great Wall of China.

Unfortunately no one can or should help you make this decision. It's between you and whichever doctor you choose. Only you can cry 'uncle'. You just posted that the best part of my recent post was my no brainer decision. I agree because any spinal surgery is a huge decision. Every single one of us has enough differing circumstances to make the decision to move forward unique - as is every outcome. On another forum I asked the question of those considering their surgeries successful, what limitation were they left with. Only one person replied there were none.

Have you had enough? When you finally say yes, then you'll have your answer. And even then, you'll still have reservations as you already know.

Maria, when a game show contestant is at a crossroads of taking home their winnings or going on for possibly more while risking that which is already secure, no one urging them to go forward will achieve the gain or suffer the loss. They can't place the blame of their decision on anyone other than themselves. So, should you stay with the life saving $100,000 (your current drug treatment) or try for the life altering $1,000,000 (surgery)?

Even when you break down the complex into simplistic terms, it's still fraught with the complex. 'The heaviest burden is a great opportunity'.

Good luck Maria, Dale