[Blairsara]

Hey everyone
Thanks so much for all of your replies.
To set one thing straight, my brother doesnt live with me. I'm living with my parents and he is in an apartment with his girlfriend. But that doesnt mean he isnt here. He comes over all the time. This week he came over twice, ended up while my mom was out, so I had to pretend I was sleeping while he was here in order to avoid any contact. If he did live here while this was going on I dont even know what I would do. Thank G-D that is not the case!

I'm doing everything that I can to not be around him. But it's inevitable that I will have to deal with him. And for those situations I plan to stay close to other people and far away from his as possibly necessary without causing extra drama. My parents see everything that's going on and completely back me up 100%. My mom realizes how bad it is more than my dad - he just thinks its my brother being the typical *******.. And truly believes that he wouldnt physically hurt me while I'm in this condition. I completely disagree with him If he could kick me in the back one month before major back surgery, what would prevent him from doing anything to me now if he loses complete self control. That is precisely the reason why I will not talk to him alone, be with him alone, etc.. and only be around him when necessary around other people. The plan is for me to recover and completely fuse and than have a family intervention where he either recognizes that he has major issues, goes to therapy where it is actually helpful, is on some sort of medication other than self medicating by smoking, and realizes how terribly he treats me... if not (which I doubt he will ever admit he has a problem or even address all of his issues that are based on completely unrealistic perceptions) than our relationship will remain the same - no contact except for when absolutely necessary and can't be avoided. His best friend also supports me and wants him to get the help that he has needed for such a long time.

I will do everything that I believe is absolutely necessary to make sure I completely recover and that I have a successful surgery. And I have no problems with completely distancing myself from him so that way I can get back to being positive. Although, I've been having trouble thinking of ways to maintain my positive outlook when he comes around and I have to pretend to sleep or be close to my dad and deal with the tension and negativity. Any ideas?