[mmglobal]

Dear Friends,

As you know, Diane and I are now dealing with her disc protrusion. Today, we went to a local pain management office for her first epidural injection. That went well, but that is not the subject of this post.

It's been almost 5 years since my surgery. As you know, I spend a lot of time with spine patients and a lot of time in spine surgeons' waiting rooms. However, since my surgery in September of 2002, the only time I've spent in a pain management office one visit shortly after my surgery... I just wanted to give the pain doc literally hundreds of Oxycontin that I'd been stockpiling.... "Here... I don't need these any more!!!"

Sometimes it's hard for me to be around patients who remind me of myself... watching them move like I used to move... watching the faces that can't smile a natural smile. It's tough some times, but even with what I do... face to face contact with these people is not all that common.

Yesterday in the pain management waiting room... it was very tough. I saw three waves of people there.... Before 3pm, the rash of 3pm'ers was there.... we were still in the waiting room when all the 3:30 folks showed up. When we came out from the ESI... all the 4:30 folks were there. We must have seen more about patients in this small office.

Sooooo many of them had that look... there was so much pain there. I could not believe how different this group of patients was compared to what I'm used to seeing in the surgeons' offices. Many of them are the the same folks, but it's been 5 years since I'd been immersed in such a concentrated group of them... I never even noticed it before because I was one of them and totally absorbed with my spine. I'm sure that I looked for anyone to tell my story to. As I saw today, once the on-button was pressed for the story, there was not place to get a word in edge-wise. I cringed and hoped that I was not like that, but I know I was.

As we left the office, I remarked to Diane about how bad they all looked and how hard it was for me to be there.

"You were worse than any of them", she said. I sure don't remember myself that way... but I know she's right.

I'm not sure what this thread is about. I just thought I'd relate my experience. I hope that as technology advances and we gain access to it.... fewer of us will wind up as permanent pain management patients. It's no kind of life that anyone should have to endure.

All the best. In a couple of hours, I'm off to Germany again... hopefully I'll be back soon!

Mark