new & screwed
First off I'm sorry to read what a devastating experience you've had with spine surgery. I am wondering if you had an acute injury that lead to an emergent discectomy or if you had problems and it was enough to recommend discectomy so you went ahead and had the surgery. Either way I can certainly understand how you feel given the results to date.
I had my first discectomy when I was in my early 30's. Big open surgery at L5S1. It helped for a while but L4 bulged about a year and half later and once again whatever relief I had felt was overshadowed by my back going out for weeks and just messing up my life again (was an RN,NP and had been in pretty good shape prior to surgeries even with problems/pain/etc).
2nd discectomy was in my late 30's and was a percutaneous surgery (not open). I don't really know whether the surgery was so new back then, the surgeon even though quite experienced not experienced enough in that surgery or visuals just so poor back then but the surgery failed horrifically and left me so much worse off I was thinking along the same lines as you.
Mostly the pain was just unbelievable.. I mean the burning was gnawing and crazy 24/7 thru buttocks bilat, both legs, and into my feet. I managed to go back to work but I was really suffering so much and this was back before Pain Management specialists were a big thing and/or prescribing any helpful pain meds. I was put on Elavil to take the edge off the burning pain and it did but eventually it wasn't helpful enough and I went on Neurontin 1800mg/day after 5 years of Elavil. Stayed on the Neurontin for 12 years though in 2000 had to retire on disability and in 2001 started taking Methadone (low dose) for pain daily.
From around 2001 to 2006 I explored more surgical possibilities starting with 3 level global fusion but decided against that. Then had some surgical consults for ADR surgery at L4 and L5 and eventually was authorized for ADR at L4 and fusion at L5. I just was too scared to have more surgery and have any increase in pain anywhere... so I did nothing further but take my pain meds and also had been started on Epidural Steroid Injections around 2002 (up to 3-4/year). They actually helped me greatly with some relief so was afraid to do anything further surgically that might change any of that.
Here I am in 2016. I'm 30 years older and still have a bulge at L4 that is gives me problems, L5 is probably fairly well fused so less bothersome, and the burning pain has been gone for about 10 years at least (knock on wood except with occasion).
All I can say is take one day at a time and if you're not seeing a Pain Management specialist I'd recommend seeing one to help out with the burning pain type of relief.
It's hard to accept failed surgeries or surgeries that make us worse instead of better or at the very least don't do anything worse however it happens and all I can say from my own personal experience is to try to get the best treatment you can to help you deal with living with pain, retire if you have to even though you don't want to, and try to just get thru the day you're dealing with and hope that the next day brings some relief or improvement. It took a lot of days to get me to that point so I'm not trying to give any "overnight/quick fix advice." Pain sucks and great dysfunction and pain sucks even more however you just never know when you might start feeling better. The body can surprise you again so I guess I'm just trying to say~ don't give up hope.
If you feel like posting more about what you're going thru or have tried thus far to date feel free. Many of us that have had spine surgery have had less than desirable results and some downright awful results. Then again plenty of people have had great results. I used to envy them and wish I could have had that too .. I didn't so I had to learn to deal with living my life and finding my way.
take care and I do wish you improvement and pain relief for the future ~ Maria
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