Re what you're feeling
I'd be thinking all the same things as you are and having the huge pity party too. All the same wishing you the best with any decision you arrive at and I personally think all too often spine and other surgeons don't go into worse case scenario unless truly there is very strong possibility of something happening and they truly want the patient to know while the option of not doing surgery will likely render severe consequences the option of having the surgery is not without potentially severe consequences as well.
It boils down to does the benefit outweigh the risks. Clearly it appears your previous doctor and one treating you now must think so or at least that it's worth the risk as long as you're clear on "potential" risks.
You do not have any easy decision to make though I understand your considerations and what you're thinking. Meanwhile just do what you need to re prepping for surgery. Ultimately you have the last say on following through.
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