[Maria]

Judy,
Sorry to read that your youngest is upset with the move. Hopefully in time she'll be Ok with it.

I've not lived in such a white upper middle class neighborhood in so long that this is culture shock to me. I've cried my own fair share of tears as well because I miss my friends and the diversity of a more city like env. which I have always loved even tho at times been uncomfortable or frightened in a bit.

Now property is starting to go up in LB so I don't have the opportunity to change my mind and buy a little place there (and I do mean little). I hope to become more accustomed to living in the "OC" ~

My neighbor who is 55 and engaged to a very wealthy and sickly dying 75 y.o. man told me yesterday her fiance was going to buy her a new Mercedes (model blahblahblah)~ she gets everything she wants and doesn't even have to be intimate with him!

Not that she's all that healthy herself as she has a brain tumor that she's being treated for and has had some other type of cancer tho she's a very upbeat lively person and very into the "finer" things in life.

I haven't even bought a bed frame or mattress yet and still need some furniture tho I'm not really that motivated to shop here. If I were in Long Beach I'd have all my spots to go to and zoom around and you could hardly stop me from shopping!

Did I tell you I took a lovely lovely long walk down at Laguna Beach near the Montage? It was incredible! It is really beautiful here tho I don't like having to drive the 8 miles to get to the beach. I was just so spoiled living a block from the beach all those years.

Re your use of something to help support you do take care and be patient with yourself. You seem to forget that this is how many more surgeries you've had since the one last summer or last year so you can't expect yourself to heal at the same rate. I think you really do expect too much out of yourself PLUS you seem to always be trying to manage multiple things as the same time and with very little emotional or physical support. I mean I know you have your kids tho really they probably just cannot comprehend hardly any of what you're going thru even tho they have seen you suffer physically and emotionally. They're too young and too healthy~

So please Judy do have patience with yourself and your recovery timeline. I'm glad you're being good and not pushing yourself too hard or lifting or anything.

take care and sorry if I sound like a nag! Maria