[jsewell]

Mark,
I am so sorry you are getting worse. It sucks.

I had a very bad day yesterday with emotional personal things and i was in a very depressed state so i waited until this morning. I feel a bit better mentally.

first i couldn't survive without my anti depressant meds and of course pain management.
I do get very very frustrated with my body. all this surgery and i can;t even stand up straight. My neck will always give me problems and i stuck in the head forward position with a neck brace. sucks and it is for life.
Other lumbar problems as well, plus stiffness of the whole darn fused spine.

My coping has always started with thinking about others with so many worse conditions. Or someone finding out their child is very ill. I'm lucky i am in better shape.
Then, although it is not exactly pain free, i go and do a hike in my local trail about every other day. I am so slow do to breathing loss, I know it aggrivates spine issues , but it is my saving grace. Keeps me sane. I used to run in the trails until 4 years ago with my hip replacement. It was rough and still bothers me that i cannot run at all. So for now i hike.
And enjoy the way down .
Then i really have to stay positive for my kids. I really want to , no reason to bring them down .
I guess that is what i can think of right now.,
judy