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“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.” –Tom Clancy

“You know ‘that look’ women get when they want sex? Me neither.” –Steve Martin

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” –Woody Allen

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” –Rodney Dangerfield

“My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.” –Steve Jobs

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” –Jack Nicholson

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” –Barbara Bush

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” –Billy Crystal

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.” –Robert De Niro

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” –Rod Stewart

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” –Robin Williams
“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.” –George Burns