Blair, if you can't take your finals early, you should be able to call the doctor's scheduler and tell them that you can't have the surgery until after they are over. While we need to work with them, we also have to deal with real issues in our lives... your finals are as important as their scheduling issues.
While my opinion is not important in the situation with your brother, I'll add my 2 cents again. While your family partially recognizes the seriousness of his behavior, forcing you to either accept a fearful situation or to stay away from family gatherings represents your parents making an inappropriate choice. If they fully accepted the seriousness of his behaviour, they would not enable hiim by having him present at family gatherings unless he's actively involved in some treatment and has some expectation of success.
Mark
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