[dshobbies]

This is addressed to Blair but I wanted to tell Maria what strength of character it took, though I don't know your circumstances, to remove yourself from a difficult situation.

Blair, even our closest relatives and/or loved ones, for a myriad of reasons, may not be good for us. Though supposedly always there for us without judgement, we live in the real world and know this is not always the case. Sometimes it's in our own best interest to remove ourselves from their lives - be it father, mother, brother, sister, even husband or wife. We need to protect ourselves, especially when in fragile states as you are now and in the near future, even post-operatively. You have an achilles heal and it's the first thing he went for. Will he do it again? Without some intervention, my crystal ball says yes.

It is not for me or anyone else to get between you and your relationship with your brother but you said he did this once before. He obviously has problems from wherever they stem. What distresses me is that he finally apologized which raises the hair on the back of my neck, because it means you had some contact with him again, which opens a door, whether you've forgiven him or not. You have some serious soul searching to do. It's never an easy decision to kick someone important out of your life but sometimes, it's the only sane one. Are you really facing reality or burying your head in the sand?

This is none of my business and until Maria's last post I wasn't going to post again. It demonstrated that you're not alone. We all tend to have to learn from out own mistakes but with age comes a different wisdom. Please listen to all the words written and then to that little voice in your head. I wish you well,

Dale