[Maria]

Judy,
How about $ for gifts so they can buy their own? My Mom did that when I was older and usually gave me one thing or so that was sentimental or cute. I loved her thoughtfulness but if she didn't know what I wanted she figured $ was always a good gift. I thought so too! Or gift receipts I guess is a good way to go in today's shopping world.

I was going to say this earlier but didn't want to come off crude or mean or anything but I've heard this saying a number of times when men were considering leaving their wives but then saw what it would entail monetarily and that is "cheaper to keep her" (the wife that is).

I don't know what your husband will do and I agree w/Dale with regard to it's your decision what to do but with his history re women and his history re how he treats you and the family (from what you've mentioned here) there'd be no way I'd want a spouse like this back but since I'm not in your shoes I do have to agree w/Dale that counseling would have to be a MUST if it would even be a consideration for him to return (should he want to).

He may just want the divorce if it means he's going to lose so much and may want his complete freedom along with that. Who knows... just be prepared for whatever.... meaning most likely don't have any expectations and just really be thinking with your mind not a broken or soft heart. If this means you both arrive at a conclusion that you need something from each other and can still live together without really continuing your relationship in the same manner then so be it. I've heard of couples that were seperated really but still lived under the same root because of financial contraints. In reality they both reached an agreement and it worked for them. May not work for anyone else tho that doesn't matter. Though I would definately caution you not to do anything you're not entirely comfortable with or think would make you feel worse.

Now to change the subject again~ have you ever had lidocaine for dental work and gotten a side benefit that whatever else was bothering you like your back or your neck stopped hurting? I have. So I wonder if that's what happened when you go the ESIs (even tho given in a more specific area ) so now whatever might have wanted to act a bit more several weeks ago was just muted and you're just feeling more of everything given the fact the steroid effects are pretty much gone or all gone.

I also used to tend to have a return of symptoms for a few weeks post the wearing off of my ESIs or a flare up is what it felt like and then that would settle down and I'd feel better after a few weeks and I'd feel pretty good again for several months more before really feeling like I needed another ESI.

Remember to tell yourself to rest! take care, Maria