[dshobbies]

Have you ever been so angry you could actually spit? Well I won't say anything because none of it is nice.

Judy, I'm devastated. I've often said that if a marriage is over, it is over but taking on a girlfriend (or boyfriend) is cowardly and self centered. Why on earth anyone would want to hurt and betray the person they're supposed to care about, the person with whom they've spent so much of their life... Just end the marriage and then get yourself another life. Doing it bass ackwards says a lot about a person's character, especially when faced with spousal health problems.

Jeff does not want to stay a family member. His actions indicate he has no plans on performing any fatherly duties. You should plan and act accordingly and be pleasantly surprised if he does something generous.

OK, now some harsh words - Judy, this man thought nothing of hurting you. This man has no intention of helping you or making your life easier. Despite promises to the contrary, it does not sound like he can be trusted even though you want to. He has betrayed you and will think little of doing it again. Especially when listening to the suggestions of a woman who thinks nothing about breaking up a family, you probably should not trust Jeff.

What you eventually decide to do is 100% your decision. I'm simply speaking from a person outside the forest. What you want and what you have are not the same things. I beg you to keep this is mind at all times and to protect yourself. If you hope for more, I fear you'll be disappointed. If you allow yourself to become hopeful, I'm afraid your health will take the hit as your emotions can directly impact your healing process.

Wrap yourself up in a cocoon of positive emotions. Stay positive as you deal with whatever you have to. If he comes through, think about how pleasantly surprised you'll be instead of hurt when he doesn't.

I know, easier said than done but worth a huge try!

And now that you know what you will probably be entitled to, perhaps Jeff will also try to reach a nice compromise without expensive attorneys. One can only hope.

And Judy, you can't be there for your children and help them with what they must deal with if you don't take care of yourself first. You have already become lighthheaded and your admit to being tired which I think may be more emotional than physical but you're doing too much. PLEASE take care of yourself.

You have my support in what ever I can do for you -

Dale