[dshobbies]

Judy,

I get tired just reading about all you have to do!

The cost of a divorce will depend on how much you and your husband can agree to. Disagreements cost money, often a lot. Before you get an attorney, so some research online - see what you think is fair and you MUST, despite his refusal to see you, sit down and talk about what each of you wants. If he only wants to end the marriage but is willing to be fair, as per asking aunts advise, then you won't need an attorney and can go to various legal service agencies or as Mark suggested, even online. However... if there is as much as a single disagreement which cannot be resolved then you have no choice. I'm sure you know divorces can be petty and vindictive but there was no cheating going on here, just frustration - or so we think.

The next time you leave him a message, tell him you really don't want to get an attorney but his refusal to talk to you is creating fear that you need to protect your interests. Add that you just want to try to understand what he's thinking for the long range plans, especially financial.

Judy, I realize you want and need financial protection but let me add that one day the two of you will share grandchildren. There will be weddings and other celebrations that will include both of you. If you can impart this long range thinking into him, perhaps he'll reconsider being so detached and work with you. One can only hope-

By all means, stand your ground (lying down) and you also might want to add that in absence of you affording an attorney, he might have to pay for both!

Good luck and rest, Dale