[dshobbies]

Judy,

I am so glad you have begun taking care of yourself. I do believe this is the first step to pulling your life together.

I love Maria's suggestion about calling women's shelters. I bet they can give you suggestions on counseling as well should you decide to go that route for both you and your children. In fact, I think it's a valuable idea.

Though my kids are all in their 30s now, when younger a friend told me all children will go crazy at some point. It's better when they're younger, usually through their teen years. She was right. When our youngest's craziness lasted too long, we did seek counseling for him and it was very beneficial. He now says to keep talking because even if he's being difficult, he's listening, he was always listening.

I'm glad your husband is conflicted enough to ask the advise of his aunt. However, he does seem to be listening to the devil on his shoulder as opposed to the angel and you should proceed accordingly, especially given he ignored your presense in your own home.

Julius is very easy going and as such, avoids confrontation whenever possible. This isn't always the best approach but from what you write, it's yours too. You had the opportunity to ask him about his intentions but...

I don't expect you to change but remember, no one is blowing your horn, only you. You claim you hate being strong (to which I completely agree) but now is the time to step up. Remember, we're right beside you.

Dale