Judy,
Other than telling you soon has to be now, I have nothing new to add but I do want you to know that I'm here for you, reminding you to take care of those things you cannot avoid by putting your health first.
I see no reason one of your children can't do the vacuuming and other simple chores.
And though I also agree with Maria as far as your husband's shame, he also might be avoiding you because he fears either you'll convince him to come back or his guilt will. IMHO he finds your health problems overwhelming and choses not to deal with them, leaving the woman he supposedly loves more than anything in the rest of the world, alone to handle them and everything else alone. The rest is 'if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all'.
And remember, if all else fails, you have time for a nervous breakdown in 2013but only for about 15 minutes. You might want to schedule it now
Dale