[on pause]

Hi everyone, thanks for all for replies.
This is a lot to take in! I'm feeling really confused and sort of having a panic attack right now! Sorry if my reply isn't entirely coherent, but I'm having a hard time sorting out my though process. I do feel rushed in all this as I need to get on with my life!

I've been living with all this for 10 years and have had to missed so much schooling, both high school and especially university. Once I'm out of school (though for medical reasons and not by choice) for 6 months I won't qualify for my parent's insurance any more and will have to then pay for all my physio and medications. I will also have to start paying back my student loan, and since I'm not working this will be impossible! This is why the surgeries need to happen soon so I can get back to school and try and finish my undergrad (which will have taken 7 years to get if I'm lucky).

I thought I had finally found my doctor after years of searching, and now I'm starting to question that. I have to have seen 20+ docs in the past 6 years, from neurologists, neurosurgeons, pain specialists, and orthopedic surgeons. I am even a part of something called Best Doctors, where they try to match patients with doctors that meet their criteria. I feel a little under the gun time wise, and it takes a long time to even meet with a doctor, my surgeon has a wait of 2 years normally! It seems most of the best are not accepting new patients, I've tried. Then even if I feel comfortable with the doctor (a rarity in my experience), then I'd have to wait longer still for a surgery date, and many of those are a year at least later. I can't live the way I have been living for much longer. Schooling aside, the constant pain, the sleeplessness and the lack of any real life are driving me mad! I can't take my dog for a walk, I can't hold my baby nephew, I have no life and haven't for a long time.

I'm new to the whole idea of ADR and fusions, and thought I had done a lot of research, but am starting to doubt what I thought I knew too! The reason for the two surgeries was that my doctor wanted to see if just the fusion made me feel better enough to get on with my life for the time being, and to postpone the ADR for later. If it didn't greatly improve things, then the second surgery would go ahead.

I'm not 100% sure why my doctor doesn't want to do the ADR at L4/L5. I had a CT scan done and he said it would be risky with the way it looked on the scan. He said there would be too great a chance of tearing a major artery. He was very hesitant to do a fusion at all, and he explained the risks that it may affect the L3/L4, but that all my other discs looked very healthy. Apparently nothing was blocking my L5/S1 though, and he could go ahead with an ADR at that level. He advised against fusing it all due to my age.

I'm not so great with the acronyms...what is STALIF, TILF and PILF?

I know for the fusion there will be some sort of cage involved. Are there some that are better than others? I meet with my doctor again for all the pre-op stuff, what should I be asking him to make this the best informed decision?

I will think of more replies to all you have given me, I just need my head to stop reeling.

Thanks