[dshobbies]

Hooch,

Have you even noticed how often friends and family abandon those who are in need? Also, have you ever notice how those in need can often be insensitive to the world around them? While I don’t believe these two things go hand in hand, our emotions and protecting them may be a primary cause, as well as unadulterated jerks who care about nothing but themselves.

Though I never really considered myself a jerk, or worse, a happenstance changed me forever, decades before my back became problematic. I was in a lady’s room, washing my hands with my back to the door. A woman walked in asking if there was a handicap stall. My response was curt and rude until I turned around and saw this woman was blind. This ahah moment, for which I am beyond grateful, changed my life. I now look upon giving as a gift – which doesn’t mean I too do not have my needy moments.

The point is, few people ever have that ahah moment. They don’t understand and most people fear that which they cannot (or simply don’t want to) comprehend. They have expectations of the world around them which is usually quite disappointing. I’m not excusing your father’s behavior but I’m betting he just doesn’t get it. Compassion is something foreign to him.

Now having attempted to explain a possible why your father behaved abominably, doesn’t excuse bad behavior. When at my lowest, I found it necessary to remove as much negativity from my life as possible, which included some friends and family. This is easier said than done but my life is better without them in it. First and foremost, we must help ourselves.

No, you are not alone. Family dynamics is complicated and have always been a difficulty in most of our lives. Just know it’s okay to love someone without actually liking them. It’s also okay to not love them too.

I hope the next phase of your life is easier. Good luck,

Dale