[Blairsara]

Maria and Mark - quick correction, my name is Blair, Sara is my middle name.

Mark - the CT scans showed that my facet joints have greatly degenerated since my ADR and that it progressively had gotten worse to where I am now. It showed facet arthropathy, bone spurs, stages of arthritus, a bulging disc at L4/L5. Also, this is all at my L5/S1. I called you after I met with Dr. Lanmen to tell you what was going on (you sat in on my meeting with Dr. Regan when Maria came to see him and Dr. Apostle).


Laura – Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. It has definitely been very hard and frustrating these past 6 months, but I swore to myself that I would not let my back interfere with getting my law degree and doing well in my classes. Surprisingly, I can write well while on pain medication. Some of my professors and the person at the disability office told me that if I had not told them what was going on with my back and how bad it was, they would have no idea by just looking at me. That made me feel better, because the last thing that I wanted was for everyone to know how bad things were that didn’t need to know. I’m a private person, and I don’t like random people who might not have a clue about what living in this kind of pain is like.

Thank you for calling me a strong person and an example of perseverance. Every day I give myself a pep talk, telling myself that I won’t get upset, frustrated, sad, or angry because of what’s going on. Everyday I say to myself that I will never give up. If the pep talk doesn’t work, I just look in the mirror at my tattoo that’s about my ADR surgery and my recovery. That knocks some sense into me. :P

I know that I have done everything I could to try and alleviate the pain. I believe that since there is nothing else at this point that I can do, that to let it consume my mental state would mean that I let my crappy situation defeat me. We all go through hard times in our life, whether like us it’s pain, or being scarred from traumatic events, etc… I refuse to have it consume my life and destroy my ambition of doing very well in law school and becoming a successful attorney.

I am definitely happy about the fact that after the fusion and the recovery I won’t be in as much pain. That is the one thing that I hold on to, and even before I knew I was going to have the surgery I held onto that idea that one day I would have a revision procedure that would stop this pain. I think that looking at the bright side of this crappy situation has helped me not only for the present, but also for the future when I will be faced with difficult situations.

First, I am glad that your facet joints are not similar to mine. I hope that they never reach that stage. The reason why the pain has gotten so bad since September is that the degeneration is getting worse. The Charite disc put too much pressure on my joints, allowed them to extend too far, and didn’t move properly. I know that the bone spurs are sclereotic but I don’t know if I’m dealing with stenosis. What exactly is that? Again, thank you for your comments I truly appreciate them.


Dale and Maria -
Thank you so much for your kind words. Hearing these things from you guys helps reassuring myself that I'm handling this the best possible way that I can. Maria, I think you are exactly right in terms of a decision of necessity. There is really nothing else I can do in terms of outpatient procedures. The facet blocks stopped working, the rhizotomies didnt really help that much. The pain killers arent that effective, and physical therapy hasnt provided as much relief as it used to. I truly believe that I am making the right decision, that hopefully after I recover from the surgery I won't be in as much pain as I am now. Again, it was also a pleasure meeting you as well. By the way, how are things with your back? Do you have a date for your surgery?

As of today my surgery date is May 24th.

Again, thank you all for the kind words, I really appreciate it. I hope that my experience can be a learning one for others dealing with constant pain, or problems stemming from the Charite disc.

Thanks.

Blair