[Maria]

It's ok to shower and whether or not you can get the site wet or not then you can go ahead. I was an RN/NP for years and I tend to follow the directions given to me by the physican/surgeon/specialist esp if it makes sense. You can cover the wound site (how's the infection?) if necessasry w/something like saran wrap (that's what I did) altho it got wet anyway.

Hmm.. have to insert here I just read what you wrote re the size of your wound increasing and the "hole" created there so I'm wondering about that now.. you best keep a very good eye on that as it may well lead you back into the hospital if it has to be addressed to assist with wound care. I can definately see where your family of health care professionals are concerned. I wrote the rest before I saw what you wrote on the other post so take it all with a grain of salt. What has your surgeon said?

A wet dressing is usually a hotbed for growth of "stuff" so as mentioned you'd want to change the dressing if it gets wet or if you have one at this time. You have to keep the area clean and dry tho it looks like you're really going to have to watch how it's healing re opening up more. Please do that.

It might be that some gentle cleansing of the site is permissable altho it's all in accordance to what your doctors have stated or recommended.

Are you still on antibiotics? I know you don't want to go against what your family members advise so you will have to make this determination and again exercise caution with whatever you do.
Good luck, take care and hope your incision site will start to heal/close. Please keep us posted.