Hi Tatianak2 and welcome to the forum,
When I read posts like yours it makes my blood boil. You're doing everything right - yet they have refused the peer to peer. Have you spoken to anyone or is this all through letters because I'm sure they can claim they never recieved the requests
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My first suggestion is to talk to someone instead of letter writing. Make sure they get these requests. You can always get the insurance commission involved over their lack of responce. You can threaten legal interference as well as actually getting a lawyer but I'd try the others first. And despite the time of year, there's nothing like right now.
Having said all that, I am so sorry for your suffering. No you shouldn't have to live in pain or go bankrupt for a surgery they do cover. Not medically necessary MY ASS (excuse my language).
Dale