Good day folks,
This is a long over due update. I am still improving very well
. My biggest problem now is that I am coming off all the meds and let me tell you it is kicking my ass!! About two months ago I went off the long acting time released avinza(along with immediate release morphine) to immediate release only. That was rocky but in about two days time I was feeling all the better. Now about two weeks ago I went from about 5-6 half pieces of 15mg morphine to three percocets a day. HOLY****
that was a major change. I can go on and on about all the things that this effects. If you are going through this then you know that if there is a body function or brain function med withdrawals effect this. I am depressed, highly irritated, stomach is constantly flipping, a lot of anxiety and more. I am realizing now that the meds have not given me pain relief for a while now so coming of is an easy logical decision. Key word there is logical, unfortunately my nerves are not educated in logical decision making. I am slowly putting more time in between doses and trying to hack it as long as I can before the next dose. I am at about two total 10mg percocets a day. I break them in half and take them at shorter intervals, lower amount of medicine but better even distribution on medicine. There are a lot more ups and downs with the percocets vs the morphine. I would be close to off if I did not have a pressure cooker of a job. (my close co workers are laughing at me cause I snap on people now and that is not my character) The people that I work with now understand but it took seeing me go completely out of character and blow up about some really minor things before they finally realized that I was not joking about having mood swings. I am not a depressed person and I can say that all through this affair that I have kept my head up, well now I am feeling it. I am not accepting this and I know that it is cause my body is not making the chemicals it needs to make me feel ok but after 4 weeks of feeling this its tough. I cannot believe how addicted my body is on these pills.
On a better note I am still getting into better and better shape. I have now finished my therapy. I am able to run about 3 miles on a tread mill, work out with light weights, and not have any pain or discomfort other that muscle sorness. I recently started a swimming class at a local college and I can say that this is a great workout and an awesome challenge. The great thing about swimming is that when you are in the water there is no weight on the spine and I can feel this. When I run I am thinking about every foot touch, its almost like a hesitation cause I know how bad it could get real fast. When I am in the water that feeling is just not there, I feel closer to "normal"(meaning no discomfort or pain) in the water than I have since I did not have back problems!!!
I am so lucky that I am able to do this cause right now with my mental state this is the only thing that is helping. I think the next step is to hand Mark a beat down in hoops!!
There are still a lot of highs and lows. I have read over my earlier posts and can tell you that I forget about my last big problem cause the current one gets more attention, but they keep working out. Perspective... being able to keep perspective and staying out of the moment. I have always felt that I will recover GREAT form this and still feel that I am going to. I am way off in my expectations of how fast I should recover but I AM GOING TO RECOVER, play ball, lift weights, snowboard, and all the other things that make me smile. My vessel is under way...
Sending pain free vibes to all my fellow spiney's!!!