It's been a while since I've posted. That is an indication of how things are going. Things did get better for January and February... good enough that mid-Feb, I took a trip to Germany with clients. The trip went relatively well and I even got some time off over there. I got to spend a few days in Maastrict and Bonn with Dr. Zeegers. I got to tour the wonderful BetaKlink in Bonn and observer some surgeries there. I got to spend several days in Heidelberg with Dr. Feil at the ATOS Klinik and see some surgeries there.
Upon returning, things went south again. It's been a tough few weeks since I've been back. I'm actually in Barcelona now, at the end of a long-planned trip for me and Diane to go visit with our son and daughter-in-law.
On the flight over, we connected in Philly. On approach, the plane made a rather steep bank; the kind that fills the window up with cars, houses, backyards, etc... While I have no fear of flying, like most people, these views occasionally come with the unpleasant, "what if the bank continues steeper and we went in" kind of thoughts. I was a bit surprised when my brain came back with the answer... "if we went in high speed, it would feel good because the pain would stop."
I'm not suicidal... not even close. But, it has been so very long that things have been so bad. When I report that I'm doing much, much better... things still aren't good. Times of relief are brief, then innocuous activities take it away.
This is the 8th day in Barcelona and there was one day that I was saying "things seem to be improving." Back to miserable the next day. The good news is that I am managing to see the sites, but I'm always right on the edge of not worth it.
More later... Diane can't see me at the computer or I'll be in trouble.
All the best,
Mark
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