[dshobbies]

I understand your pain and feelings of hopelessness. What comes to mind is my incessant phrase "it's not fair" as I saw all around me going through their days and complaining about everyday happenstances.

Is there any chance you can find your way to Germany for a consult with the infamous Dr. Baumbach. From reading other posts, his diagnostic skills are second to none, and that's exactly what you need. I understand his examinations are beyond thorough so I think they must be done in person as opposed to online or via telephones.

I realize I recommend this as if you were made of money and especially in this economy it's probably not all that doable but... your difficult situation leaves few options.

Getting all your ducks in a row is a good idea for everyone but using your pain instead of your brain as a decision maker, not so much. Your pain is not capable of rational thought. . . .

You are in my thoughts, Dale