[chasswen]

I especially love the last line of this .......
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR ...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches
in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ... But that's
not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things
up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and
skid and bump into things even in the best of weather My whitewalls are
stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns
Inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator
leaks or my exhaust backfires !