[jessmith07]

Dale is right...everyone is different, so let me share a little about Jess. I pray that I don't offend anyone or step on anyone's toes, because I would NEVER do that intentionally...ESPECIALLY not here where I've come to think of the members as my second family. My only intention is to share my personality type in the hopes that others may see something similar and relate.

I am a fighter. I thrive on crisis and remain calm on the outside and breakdown when nobody is looking, which many on this site have seen me do in the middle of the night. I DECIDED long before the surgery that I was going to be fine after the surgery. The time period leading UP TO the surgery was stressing me beyond belief, but I knew, and even kept telling Hubby, that once the waiting was over and I was in Germany, I'd be fine, and I was. I had to force Hubby to leave me less than 24 hours after my surgery to return to his office in Paris. I KNEW that HAVING to take care of myself would force me to get up, get moving, and get back to him ASAP. I did prepare for the worst (by bringing plenty of meds, books and clothes), but in my heart, I had decided that I WOULD BE FINE. When I woke up Thursday morning, in pain and on my own, I forced myself out of bed, thinking that there was nobody else to turn to to take care of me (even though Hubby was a phone call & short plane ride away). I won't lie...it hurt, I was scared that my insides would fall out or that I would fall and screw everything up...but I DID it...and I kept pushing myself and keep pushing myself to this day, though I do listen to my body when it tells me I need a day of rest. I guess what I'm trying to say is, for ME, keeping a positive mind set worked for me. Like I said before, the months leading up to the surgery were MUCH worse than the recovery that I've experienced thus far (thus far, being the operative words, as I'm fully aware that there may be good days followed by bad weeks).

Anyway, I was on my own for the most part after the surgery, although knowing I had the love and unyeilding support of Hubby was (and is) priceless, I'm trying to tell you that it can be done. I don't know you or your exact circumstances, but try to focus on "the other side" and how you will manage when you get there. I see you seem to be a very organized and detail oriented person (as am I) and are already putting your "ducks in a row". Stay after it. Start positive thoughts and begin the healing process now, even BEFORE your surgery. Sounds strange, but that's what I did...for me, there was alternative.

I hope this helps. If you go back and look at my pre-op posts vs. my post-op posts, you probably won't believe that I'm the same person. But here I am, 2.5 weeks post-op and doing better and better each day...certainly unbelieveably better than I was 3 weeks ago! I knew that when I woke up the Thursday after my surgery.

If you find the time, please start a thread and tell us more about you and your situation.

Sending you positive thoughts,
Jess