Have you ever used anti-anxiety medication? I had to start using it when I lost all control of things going on around me, and was not able to cope. I felt like I was a wet dish rag on the spin cycle...I don't know if that description helps or not, but I think I understand what you are going through.
My doctor prescribed alprazolam (Xanax), but there are others out there. It is addictive, so doctors are rightly very careful about prescribing it, but when your world is crashing down, sometimes it helps. Again, I am not a doctor and am not trying to give you medical advice, just what helped for me.
After taking that, I was able to 'breath' and cope with what was going on at the time.
Talk to your doctor please...I am very worried about you.
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DDD
Herniated discs C4/5 & 5/6, L3/4, L4/5, L5/S1
Severe compression of spinal cord in two levels
All conventional therapy exhausted, including spinal injections, PT, massage, etc.
In appeal with Gov't Insurance for Out-of-country coverage for ADR hybrid surgery of above discs.
Recently discovered that I am severely allergic to all common metals used in surgical hardware except for Titanium.
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