I'm glad you're posting as much as you are. I can identify with the anxiety of fearing something that was once dreadful will return.. I mean with relationship to pain and my past experience with many years of low back problems.
I had very high anxiety and I absolutely refused to recognize and/or take any medications for it.. I did work out on a regular basis as much as I could before my 2nd spine surgery but after that and the results of that surgery I had to learn a new way to deal with my new set of problems at hand (mostly horrific nerve pain).
I used diversion at first when every moment I could hardly stand being alive due to the pain. I had so many coins that need wrapping so I took them out and started counting them and wrapping them.. amazingly it helped me to focus on something other than my pain, depression and anxiety.
Learning to involve myself in an activity that was still rather restful yet taking my mind off the very negative feelings/thoughts I was experiencing helped me greatly to just "get thru"
It was also a way of *getting thru* without working out physically and while not as healthy for one at least it seemed to save my sanity.
Diversion therapy is it called? I don't know however that and a really good shrink when I had a crisis period was incredibly helpful.
It sounds like you've had mixed physiologic and psychologic components as most do tho perhaps yours has been much more intense as it seems every waking moment provoked some stimuli leading to pain.. that had to be tough and it's easy to understand the fear or anxiety of it returning even if you're now feeling better postop.
I hope besides stress alleviating types of techniques perhaps you've someone good in your back pocket re psych help/scripts tho I think I read that you're sensitive to many medications .. so perhaps being chemically sensitive has made it much more difficult to utilize pharmaceuticals to help w/anxiety/other *stuff*.
Ok, now I"m rambling.. well, you look good at least
and sounds like the pain alleviation is a huge plus in your road to recovery.
Let the ol' bean relax a bit if able.. do you enjoy comedy? One of the things that helps me greatly with relaxation is being amused or laughing. Comedy re movies. I also love foreign films as listening to French, Italian, Spanish and many other languages is quite soothing to me.. I'm a good subtitle reader as well
and that in itself can occupy me well. I just have to be careful not to overdo with TV/lights flashing as I get migraines and now neck pain rather easily with uncomfortable positioning.
I hope you find things that do soothe your mind and lessen the anxiety.